im starting to feel tired and drawn out. i know i must continue but i always feel used and no matter where i am there's always problems. i cant tell if its me or if its the person but honestly im just sensitive and expect people to care as much as i care for them because i care so much and put so much effort. i'm honestly tired of this shit. i know i have to stay but i feel terrible. its embarres... » Continue Reading
Thing is… the real Gabi liked watermelon, but I like ice cream best, and papicco more than gachigachi-kun. I like cats, and movies too — no such thing as a boring movie, not for me. » Continue Reading
In another life we'd learn the map of mornings — trace the soft geography of each other's faces, spend whole summers inventing reasons to stay. You are the spell that makes the margin burn with ink; you are the small, impossible gravity that drags me out of safe sentences and into risk. Golden-brown mornings, coffee-stained and slow, your name folded into every ordinary thing — a » Continue Reading
because girls do not have trouble saying "i love you" to the girl with empty brown eyes and bitten fingernails who don't know how to love and girls do not hesitate saying "i love you" to the girl with big green eyes and calloused fingers and girls do not tense up listening to her playlists and girls aren't relieved at amen released in a world big and unpersonifiable and girls do not torture themse... » Continue Reading
In the attic where the glass toys sleep, cracks in the silence run cold and deep. The music box hums with a broken key, singing a hymn of what used to be. Crystal of forgotten » Continue Reading
woke up on sunday morning and cried. cried because I am transgender and the world hates me. but then I remembered my free will. I felt I wasn't exercising it enough, taking advantage of the potential I had to use. so I sat up in bed and I thought. I thought "what can I do with this, what can I do." I can draw, that's something I can do. but what do I draw ? the same thing I always do ? no, that w... » Continue Reading
David II “…but now he was under a sheet anonymous as God, the big boys crying, spitting words, and we stunned like intellectuals…” (Dennis Cooper—‘After School, Street Football, Eighth Grade’) Deluge soaks the rubber, death-spirals a drainless court, but the forward, David, died last summer. We see. They move around him, their disappeared world— the orbit, gravity, sn » Continue Reading
I don’t know why I continue to surprise myself with my own naive mind. I gave in to his urges and tricked myself into thinking it could work out, but I knew the end result would leave us separate. The worst part is that even knowing, I’ll continue. » Continue Reading
We’ll get out of this shitty town, i promise. We will pack up our lives and our loves, kiss our parents goodbye, promise to send letters before burning addresses, and we will move across the country. Far enough to where we forget the lives and lies. Run them over with the car, they're dead to me anyway. We’ll move in together, in a bad apartment in the rough side of town. Cracked bricks and k » Continue Reading