"hungover"
25, despairing, longing for better days. California
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Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
I want to reconnect with myself but something is stopping me. I feel its presencd inside me, a black box over which I have now control or perception. I look at myself in tje mirror and know that part of me is missing. I am incomplete. This is not to say that I have lost something. I have blocked myself off from something necessary. It is hard to say what. There are thoughts within me that I don't ... » Continue Reading
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
I was watching twin peaks and waiting for a game to download when I noticed something that stood out to me. There is a moment in which one of the characters (can't remember her name) is lying on a bed and praying. Not to god, but to the titular lead character Special Agent Cooper. She says over and over "Special agent, please if you can hear me, please I need your help" She beseeches him across s... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
My wife and I stayed up all night talking. About love about sexuality. Telling stories and feeling close to each other. We rented one of those dockside boat and beds for our anniversary. I had forgotten how important moments like that are for my mental health. I used to do acid and mushrooms all the time and while successive use was extremely bad for my brain health a single use brings me so much ... » Continue Reading
— 1 Kudos
Category: Life
Saw my brother for the first time in a while, we didn't talk about anything serious just got coffee together. I think I'm trying out a new version of our relationship where we're just brothers. We used to be brothers and business partners and coworkers and band mates and best friends. I think that was too much and it put a strain on our relationship. My parents anniversary was yesterday. Not the f... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
An old woman told me an interesting story today. She was 78 and knew an aquaintance of mine who ran a coffee stand that happened to be on my way to work. She was friendly and kind and aware of her surroundings and the subtext of conversation. I hope that she didn't think it was rude when I said I had to eat my lunch quickly. I had work in 10 minutes and I knew that I would need every calorie and e... » Continue Reading
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
I'm a teacher so today was my first day back at work after spring break. One of my coworkers got promoted and it totally screws up the whole dynamic. He had been quietly doing a lot and now me and my other coworkers are like scrambling to pick up the slack. Its interesting because I essentially have the oportunity to make a lot of descisions about the way our program runs. The open endedness of it... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Went to the ren fair yesterday, we got tickets to the "bar crawl" this time and its so much fucking fun. Really eats up the whole day but it's a fantastic way to close out a ren fair visit. We made some new friends, got a lot of complements on our costumes and got so drunk we could hardly walk. Absolutely fantastic experience. I didn't realize just how "baudy" the tour guides would be every other ... » Continue Reading
— 2 Kudos
Category: Games
started playing GTA online with my wife over the past couple of days. I had already been having a strange feeling playing it because living in LA I recognize a lot of the buildings and streets. I'll turn a corner and have that thought of like "oh yeah I know this place" She grew up in LA though. I imagine that's a much stranger feeling. "I know this place I've lived here my whole life" Someone li... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Been thinking a lot lately about the way that children bring people together. I think there's a common belief that in front of a kid everyone should get along and try to be less argumentative, more willing to let things ago. I think about the differences between my parents and my aunts and uncles and the way that raising their kids brought them all together for a while. As my siblings and cousins ... » Continue Reading
Category: Games
Haven't played GTA in a long time, I guess it just didn't feel fun anymore. But I booted it up last night and found myself recognizing landmarks from my route to work. Living in LA it was so interesting to walk around Los santos and be like "oh yeah I always see that brewery on my way to work." Ofc when I tried to land on top of it somebody shot me out of the sky with a rocket launcher lmao I reme... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Off work for the next week and im so excited to rest (and do drugs) i don't wanna do anything for the next week but ofc i have a ton of plans. I work with kids so i have the wonderfull blessing of multiple vacations throughout the yea. Whenever they come up I think about something my mom said about how everyone in education is always thinking "I'll just keep going till my next vacation and then I'... » Continue Reading
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
I've got orientation at a new ceramics studio today and I'm so scared to jinx it by being too positive. I'm really excited. It seems like a good fit for me and the people seem nice. I guess I'm just afraid of having high expectations. Like I don't want to get myself thinking it's gonna be so fun and I'm gonna make work again finally and make new friends and then be disappointed. Is that wrong to f... » Continue Reading
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