Vacation time

Off work for the next week and im so excited to rest (and do drugs) i don't wanna do anything for the next week but ofc i have a ton of plans.

I work with kids so i have the wonderfull blessing of multiple vacations throughout the yea. Whenever they come up I think about something my mom said about how everyone in education is always thinking "I'll just keep going till my next vacation and then I'll rest" like they live for the weeks off and struggle to find joy in the day to day aspect of the job. It repeats in my head like a mantra

"Most people are just living for their time off"

I can't tell if this sours my mood or not. In a lot of ways I am overwhelmed with joy at the opportunity to relax. I try to appreciate the nuances of my work as well though. Mostly I just feel tired. My feet hurt, my back hurts, my head hurts. My life hurts.

Its so hard for me to imagine a version of myself that doesn't feel that way.

The buddha said life is suffering. Does that mean that life is bad?

Everything that I do is an expense, each moment of joy is bought for a price and the price is not equal. We do not suffer to feel joy. We suffer and then feel joy to compensate for the suffering. Happiness does not have a price tag it is a bandaid on a world full of unhappy people.

I'm on vacation and so i have the opportunity to be happy and to share that happiness with others. I like my job and so I have the opportunity to be happy and share that happiness with others.