CERRAAAMMICCSSSS

I've got orientation at a new ceramics studio today and I'm so scared to jinx it by being too positive. I'm really excited. It seems like a good fit for me and the people seem nice. I guess I'm just afraid of having high expectations. Like I don't want to get myself thinking it's gonna be so fun and I'm gonna make work again finally and make new friends and then be disappointed. Is that wrong to feel that way?

I haven't done ceramics in Years now but prior to this it was always in a classroom setting with assignments and presentations and essays. I think I've grown a lot since then though and I've really worked on my social skills (watch me screw up the first impression anyways) 

I've always felt a little bit judged or othered by ceramicists and I'm not really sure why. It's the same way I feel speaking with most people in artistic mediums. Do they discount my work because I'm talented? Do they walk on eggshells because my work is bad? I feel so much anxiety and paranoia in the presence of other artists, and I think that I really shoot myself in the foot with that attitude. 

I learned a lot by starting a local band with my brother and a friend, how to network, how to talk to people I don't like, how to put on a face that other people can be accepting of. I think because of that experience I understand myself better and maybe that makes it easier for other people to understand me. Moving from Ventura to LA has really helped with that change as well. 

I feel accepted here. I feel like I can comfortably stand out or be just another face in the crowd. I feel at home, and I feel like myself.

I think I just have to trust that potters tend to be kind down to earth people. Clay calms you and puts you in touch with yourself in ways that music and painting don't. I hope that this develops into a new chapter in my life and not just something I did for a little while and then forgot about.