"staying up way too late!!!"
17, united states
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SpaceHey Blog URL:
https://blog.spacehey.com/maerieux
— 2 Kudos
Category: Blogging
it is so RAINY here! i absolutely hate rain and i've said this so so so many times in my blog LOLZ. makes me too sad u_u today is an outlier, though, probably because i went to my therapy appointment this morning, because i feel so ENERGIZED!!!! i actually got shit done today without getting overly distracted :3 there's this app i've been using, too, that i only realized the vast uti » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
i was on one of those roblox diner hangout games last night because i really liked my avatar's fit (it's one of javier escuella's fits, the character from rdr2. i've been so obsessed with him lately; i'm listening to the songs he sings in game rn and the title of this entry is literally one of the songs) and wanted to just admire it LMAO :p so i was sitting on a barstool and listeni » Continue Reading
— 3 Kudos
Category: Blogging
romantic love is difficult! i've settled with being single but i also feel this sort of mourning for my ability to love and be attracted to others. my capacities for romantic attraction are confined to daydreams and vague, repeating mental images of being loved (embraces, kisses, closeness, the warm feeling of trust, being loved despite my mental illness). » Continue Reading
— 3 Kudos
Category: Blogging
i went out to walk my dogs tonight and i decided to listen to my arctic monkeys playlist! it's been so so long since i last listened to them, probably since middle school, and now i'm in college. that's INSANE. i'm forever astounded by the progression of time and my subsequent aging (i say as if i'm not still young LOL). i made a playlist of some of the arctic monkey songs i liked o » Continue Reading
— 2 Kudos
Category: Blogging
i am so so so horribly obsessed with rdr2!!! thinking about rdr2 makes me both insanely stupidly happy and absolutely heartbroken, anxious, terrified. i'm on the fourth chapter and two characters have already died and i'm so so scared for the next missions T_T i already know some of the people who die later on and a little bit of what happens; i'm so not emotionally prepared for the ending of rdr2 » Continue Reading
— 2 Kudos
Category: Blogging
i was riding passenger in a car ride back home when i looked up at the sunset and was like "this is a really good time to listen to midwest emo" and i did. i listened to mom jeans, a band i haven't listened to as hard as i used to in middle school. i sat deep and hard in my residual angst, my fears about the future, my lack of belonging anywhere. » Continue Reading
— 4 Kudos
Category: Blogging
there's a girl i've had a crush on for a little while and i genuinely can't stop thinking abt her rn so i'll just. rant. about my general feelings abt her and my recent thoughts abt romance. she's so gorgeous and so lovely, i enjoy talking to her. T_T and i am NOT her type!!! which i don't mind, i never really thought she'd like me back and just liked admiring her. she's so out o » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
it's cloudy outside! i've noticed that in the past few years, i started hating cloudy days. i remember loving them before, especially becuz of the usual heat where i live, but now i don't like them. T_T they make me especially gloomy. i didn't write in this blog for a bit. i wanted to, but i couldn't find much to say. i'd start writing and then delete the draft. i didn't want to wr » Continue Reading
— 2 Kudos
Category: Blogging
this sucks a lot!!!!! i want to be better, i really do, and i'm trying my hardest every day to not explode and die!!!!!! and i can't say it isn't working at least a little bit, i have improved so much, but i swear i'm driving myself insane and even for the simplest of assignments i worry, i worry and spiral i feel the tears build before they even form » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
my overall mood day-to-day has been so turbulent since i got a headache last week or so and went out of commission for two days. i already feel myself slipping back to old habits: isolating myself, not talking about how i feel with the people i love, mentally tormenting myself. it sucks!!! i know i'm getting better overall, but climbing out of the mental illness cesspool is such a long and laborio... » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
i feel kinda foolish for feeling lonely right now! it's not a bad feeling and i know what i can do to ease my loneliness in the future; it just sucks to feel rn :p i think i feel foolish about feeling lonely becuz an old friend from years ago saw my instagram account and i felt betrayed by them in the past so now i feel like i need to present myself online as perfectly okay? and really i'm doing a... » Continue Reading
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Category: School, College, University
now that i finally settled into college and got over my freshman-what-am-i-doing-with-my-life crisis, i feel kind of lonely? it's really not too much of a palpable loneliness, it's more of a dull, consistent pain. i don't go on campus for long becuz all but one of my classes are online and i have to commute T_T i like this schedule but also mildly dislike it? i like controlling w » Continue Reading
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