What's 9+10? I've been doing well the past few days. Just exhausted if anything and anxious because of midterms. In typical fashion, every important paper and exam I need to complete has been announced all at once. The only silver lining is that I'm that much closer to wrapping up my second to last semester and in just a few more months I'll be gone. On tuesday, I did my best to focus on the pape... » Continue Reading
Goodness I should be in bed, but I was and then I started to think so ferociously it ached. I saw him like a post on lost love and it all just hit me. You see, he's still very much grieving his last relationship. He'll tell me he's alright, but he thinks of her still when he's drunk and won't call me by the girlfriend title still, though that is what I am to him he says. And it just - I don't know... » Continue Reading
Last night, me and my boyfriend were talking about this idea he had. The gist of it was hosting some sort of event that had board games and such to play. He started on a question, but no sooner interrupted it with "Wait, you wouldn't know what girls like." While he was completely right and does similarly struggle with figuring out what other men like, it got me thinking about my very odd, nearly n... » Continue Reading
I've become so lazy when it comes to school. It's not even funny anymore, it's just becoming worrisome. Usually, I'm pretty on top of things when it comes to essays or assignments in general, but I've been so sluggish about it. I have an essay due for peer review next thursday, but I've not even started yet. I've reread the short story I want to cover and have a bit of an idea of what I want to wr... » Continue Reading
Yesterday was really fun. Me and him went out to Amoeba when it first opened so we could be sure to get a ticket in. I got the 20th anniversary prints and he got the hard » Continue Reading
Someday I will have a huge bed. Not queen size or king size, but some other third thing. It'll consume the room in mattress. There will only be so much space so I can line my plushies along the end and my lover will still have room to lay down with me. It will be the ultimate nest! Tomorrow me and my bf are heading out to Hollywood! We're going for the Scott Pilgrim signing and I'm super excited!!... » Continue Reading
I'm a little tipsy, but I want to write. I'm listening to the playlist me and him made of songs we'd like to cover when we get our band sorted out. I still remember that night, laying on my stomach feeling the downy softness of his blanket on my elbows, my side pressed against his thigh, and the way he kissed me when I said hearing Weezer out in public always brought along thoughts of him. I also... » Continue Reading
So, yesterday in class, we workshopped the book I'm writing (both in general and for my thesis) and I was honestly surprised to figure out my writing had set out and accomplished what I wanted to convey through it. The introduction chapter confused people, but not alienated them, so they had a desire to read further which is what I hoped would happen. I kind of just wanted to drop the reader in th... » Continue Reading
I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!! HE'S MY BOYFRIEND!!!!! HE'S BEEN MY BOYFRIEND!!!!!!! FOR MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Look, I don't ever want anyone to doubt how slow I am, how strong my sense of doubt is, or how wonderful of a boyfriend he is. I want to marry this man. I want to try and better myself further for not only myself, but this man. I want to lay with him at night and kiss his pretty eyelashes. ... » Continue Reading
Ok I know I wrote this morning when I first woke up but holy shit clarity hit me in the middle of class and I couldn't pay attention. I let my anger and junk get in the way of everything and jack everything up again. My venture towards spiritual awakening has been a very slow one. Look, I don't need to be anything including this dude's wife, let's get that settled. While I want to (very much so),... » Continue Reading
Letting myself get optimistic about anything was a cruel thing to do to myself. Me and him went out last night and it was like nothing changed. Hell, I'll admit I forgot I was miserable about anything until I'd remember every now and then when he'd reach for me. He's the most beautiful thing, but I'm only his and he's not mine. I feel like a failure in all I've set out to do. I can't find work. I... » Continue Reading
October It's fall now and I want to crawl outside myself and into your mouth. I want to lick the sweet sap of your lies and feel full on maple air. When it gets cold, you won't need firewood, just light me up. At least you'll lean in closer to feel the warmth. @import url('https://fonts.googleapis.com/css2?family=Libre+Baskerville:ital,wght@0,400;0,700;1,400&display=swap'); p{font-family: 'Libre » Continue Reading