"loving like mushrooms"
28. Enchanted and Enchanting
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Category: Writing and Poetry
its like a light brown snake slithering over your light brown carpet. it blends in and if you dont catch it fast you'll lose it. then it'll stay in your house, slithering right past you and cuddled under the couch. the snake gets faster and cleverer as it feeds on your frustration. sometimes you'll forget the snake is even there, until you step on it. not hard though, since as soon as you feel it ... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
get to the point and then tell me more while i do nothing, and blame it on resentment comparison really does destroy the past not only haunts but it itches squirming in my skin like the maggots in my brain and they live there, while i do nothing, and the past lives behind the screen the screen i look through, but i need to get my vision checked i need to » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
i was born quiet and anxious. maybe i remember laying in the crib. i remember feeling myself fall down and hit the bed, startling awake. i remember changing in the bathroom and feeling so exposed and gross, like i'd die if i didn't leave. Once, i woke up in the middle of the night, too see a figure looking at me in the mirror. It was terrifying, and i jumped back in bed. I was probably about 12 wh... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
im thinking less lately. it feels like im getting a break. crazy how one thing changes everything. i put a new comforter one and have been making my bed every morning everyday since. and me bed isnt covered in non-bed items. i opened a book to the first page of the story i was thinking about. even better, the book i want from the library is on hold for me. i'll have to go to bed soon to get up ear... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
i know that im gonna do something great. and i even kinda know how. i do know how. but what if i try and it turns out im wrong? what would i be left to do? i guess thats really what im afraid of. im gonna panic if it doesn't show as soon as i do. its the worst feeling. standing there, alone. and ive been wrong so many times before. or i was ignoring that i was right. am i delusional or am i guided... » Continue Reading
Category: Books and Stories
["chaos follows him everywhere"] it almost 3 years since it was all over, and im just now starting to actually see the truth. i thought i was just like you, so i could understand you. understand why you did the things you did. but even when i could understand it, i didn't do the things you did. you would've never let me, huh? you know im telling myself that you're dead now? i think it'd be kinda ... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
i'll keep reading and i'll keep writing and i'll keep doing the small things that bring me a piece of joy while it rots my brain. but nothing is making it go away. im gone and i dont see myself coming back for some time still. how do i care about my environment so much when im not here? am i not here because i care too much where it's not worth it? i dunno. the visually disturbed have become more ... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
i feel sadistic like everything im feeling, everything i've ever felt, was my own doing, my own wish anyways im like so pissed cause i feel as soon as i decide to try again im shut down so fast, harder than the last time. ugh then they just leave? i know ive been distant, cold, lately. but im really going thru something right now. plus honestly im just burnt out. and im shaking even admitting th... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
it's embarrassing when what you intuited comes around in this physical world. yeah i knew, but i hoped that maybe i was just paranoid due to previous experiences.. but why would i want to be wrong? why would i want my biggest superpower to be useless, weak? like, again, i'd rather see myself fail than think i let someone down. but the worst to let down is myself. i can't say i have this time, sinc... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
ive always gotten where im going. i still dont know where thats supposed to be. maybe i really dont need to know.i think about how i couldve gotten there faster, better, easier in one way but not in others. i think of the times i stayed out of fear. the times i leapt into another hole. the times i did more than i thought i could. what could i do if i let myself try harder? force myself to try hard... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
people tell me my eyes are hazel, and that they wanna see what i look like when i get furious. i always kinda disagree, and get offended that someone would be so selfish as to want me to be feeling a pain of sorts. but to be honest, i want to see what im like as well. for a justified reason, of course. its been a very long time since i was deeply angered by something, so that i would scream and ye... » Continue Reading
Category: SpaceHey
hope u guys watched the eclipse if u could. its beautiful :) » Continue Reading
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