heaven or las vegas

ive always gotten where im going. i still dont know where thats supposed to be. maybe i really dont need to know.i think about how i couldve gotten there faster, better, easier in one way but not in others. i think of the times i stayed out of fear. the times i leapt into another hole. the times i did more than i thought i could. what could i do if i let myself try harder? force myself to try harder? im still unsure of what my motivations are. like the place im going, maybe i need to research it more. at all, even. you can only change the plan when you know what it is, right?