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derealhighzation
"loving like mushrooms"
28. Enchanted and Enchanting
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derealhighzation's Blog Entries
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dis-
Category: Writing and Poetry
i cant cope with who i am, whichever one i am. i think its been days but its been months since ive been back. she told me this would pass i held my hand out waiting for her still waiting im the last kid in the lobby and im still waiting » Continue Reading
fail
Category: Blogging
i'll put all of my hope and energy into one thing so that when it crumbles i have an excuse to as well. what i do to myself feels more than sabotage, but then when do we sabotage? when we dont want someone to succeed, often also because we want to win ourselves. But with the self?? this has got be just straight up hate. i'd rather lose than see me win. i wish there was another category that felt ... » Continue Reading
i need harry styles to stop
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
im getting real tired o him and his atrocious outfits just get a fuckin nose piercing » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
i can fix my hair and stick on fake nails to come back to my self, but this time i remain absent. theres so many options and i dont know what to go with because i dont think i know what i want to do. so maybe i'll listen to old music and watch movies from my younger years to maybe remind me of what i once wanted. but its too silly and ive only ever wanted the most unrealistic things. i know ill ne... » Continue Reading
losing
Category: Writing and Poetry
I am the colicky baby and the exhausted mother. I try to hold myself just right, or rock back and forth as i sing my favorite lullaby, but nothing soothes me. I desperately need to rest and would love if I had someone to help, but I couldn't object someone to something so draining. painful. I can't stop and I can't make it stop. The torch I hold reflects in the eight swords around me, and I'm bli... » Continue Reading
brand new
Category: Blogging
the timing of this can't be coincidental. I know that I've been experiencing a lot of blasts from the past lately, and it seems like a lot of others are too. Scorpio season I guess, plus an upcoming eclipse woven into our desires to live our lives better than we have been. In releasing the past, all of your past selves come out to remind you who you have been when you needed to survive, and who yo... » Continue Reading