I read some of my new book today. I dont usually read. Its some book about mermaids. Folklore, sightings, ect. Sometimes i wish i allowed myself to have visible interest in these sorts of things. Middle school me would have a field day if i had the mermaid collection from Justice. Then again, middle schoolers are mean-- and without the prettiness i have now to back up my likability, id of been bul... » Continue Reading
I don't really know what to write down. Its been awhile since I've made an entry here. Its 12:07am right now. I went to school yesterday. I got dressed up in new clothes and dangly earrings. Cute crop top and a mesh top just for it to be cold and drizzly. I dont look good in croptops or tight clothes. My legs are too short and my hips start too high. It seems as if half of femininity as a whole ... » Continue Reading
I've been feeling pretty anxious the past two days. I've learned that it just kinda happens sometimes. It comes and goes every month or so. The last few times I've been depressed, cant cry, the works. This time though, im just constantly anxious. I feel horrible, and like everything I've ever done is wrong. I didn't go to school today. I lost my airpod last night. body { background:; color: black;... » Continue Reading
Todays the weekend, very excited to relax today. I've been re-playing Skyrim & Night in the Woods the past few days. Yesterday, my family went off to a funeral. One of my moms friends. I didn't go, which was selfish to do. I didn't know the woman, and my dad said i didn't have to go, so i didn't. It was in the morning too, and I'm sure i would have just made them all late. But i guess at the end o... » Continue Reading
I feel so delicate right now. I think that's how i should describe it. I feel very breakable. Every part of me feels tense. Waiting for my favorite fanfic to update isn't fun, especially when she got left off on a big cliff-hanger. My brother yells at me to let the dog in, and its so annoying. Hes the one who lets her out in the first place, then screams my name to come downstairs and let her ins... » Continue Reading
Went to school today. Nothing very notable happened. Following my last entry, my brother didn't infact, yell at me. Didn't really care at all. I was anxiety stricken the entire day, even after my parents came home and everyone was chilling out. My dad fixed the door, but the damage is still evident. L came into class crying today. I just continued doing my work. Ms. C went to talk to her, turns o... » Continue Reading
Today is horrible. I broke my parents doorframe last night while mad. Theyre coming back today, and so is my brother. When it happened, i called my dad immediately. I was crying super hard. He wasnt mad, even though he knows it was completely my fault and not at all an accident. He says he can fix it, which i believe. The frame just seperated from one part and another. But the wall above the door ... » Continue Reading
Today i went to school. I wore a nice outfit, and some bootcut jeans that were a little too long. Ms. C said i look like I've lost weight. Its a new semester now, but i still dont really go to class, im scared to. So instead, i just stay in Ms. B's room and try to do missing work. Thats the problem with a new semester though, there » Continue Reading
This morning, my dad woke me up at 6:30, and i had a breakdown because of it. Today was monday and i was excited for the new school semester. The feeling of uselessness and doom has gone away as my grades are reset for the new semester, and even though i know three 0's will be in my records forever, and im powerless to ever change it; i feel a sense of renewal at new classes, new assignments and a... » Continue Reading
It’s 3:05 right now. Sleeping on the couch tonight. I started the third Twilight movie after i finished New Moon— but i decided to go to sleep now rather than later. I’ll end up getting up around 8 anyways. I get woken up by my parents coming downstairs in the morning when i sleep on the couch. Then i eventually get annoyed enough that i go upstairs, fix my set up, and sleep in till 1. Listening ... » Continue Reading
Went to the mall today. I’ve got this new technique to calm down my anxiety. Sometimes, when i’m driving somewhere, i’ll get this dooming anxiety. My stomach twists and i feel like if i enter where ever i’m going— i’ll break down. I saw on tiktok, a guy said one way to calm down the body super quickly, is to take a deep breath in, as much as you can; then, top it off with another breath. After tha... » Continue Reading