02.05.24

Went to school today. Nothing very notable happened. Following my last entry, my brother didn't infact, yell at me. Didn't really care at all. I was anxiety stricken the entire day, even after my parents came home and everyone was chilling out. My dad fixed the door, but the damage is still evident. 

L came into class crying today. I just continued doing my work. Ms. C went to talk to her, turns out L broke down because a teacher was on her ass, took her pen from her, and erased her anwsers for her. Then, instead of letting her try again to work out the problems herself, she sent her down to Ms. B's class. That's what L said. I dunno, i cant really say anything negative about that-- considering i broke down in class once because my teacher gave me a calculator to work out my problems, and i just.. didn't know what to do. Im not a person whos good at comforting, and even if i was, id hesitate to try and comfort her. I talk badly about her to my other friends. So i feel being nice to her would double my guilty sentence. She does strange things and says strange things, so its expected that im going to tell my friends about what she does. Its not like im maliciously shit-talking her. I guess.

I talked to A and her friend during lunch. Apparently K, a girl we used to be friends with a year ago, still hates A and talks badly about her. K says "The past is the past", but continues to hold this hatred towards A for whatever reason. Id expect the hatred towards me, considering i was the one to confront her about her shit-talking in the first place when we were friends, i was also the loudest. So id expect it towards me, but A has a better moral code than me, and wouldn't initiate shit-talking herself. Maybe its because A and K have a lot of mutual friends, and i don't even show up to school. I don't know. Get over it K. 

I think im entering another episode today. Or maybe its just because I've been listening to Marika Hackmans new album on repeat. 

Anyways, i drew some deer today. Its really refreshing just drawing freely in my school notebook, i don't have to worry about if anything looks good or not. Because its not really going to look good, but its still going to be okay.

Logging off.