"help"
me llamo yas^_^
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Category: Blogging
okay. i think its my first time writing during the day or without feeling like the world was ending. ill start by listing off the current events. i prayed for the first time since 2017. doing it didnt feel particularly impactful but i suppose i have a feeling of accomplishment that belongs to me only. im learning how to play chess again and its fun and i hope its a fad that sticks around. c is sur... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
location: conch at alexan emotions are being felt with no direction or place to end so i shall write. i don't know why i think of my father so much lately. i never thought about the implications of that august day being the best day of his life. i wonder if i felt more during that day than i do now. it may as well been a regular day, all with the emotions bursting from my seams but not quite there... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
here we are again. listening to me and my husband rn. currently focusing on things that maybe shouldnt matter as much as they should. focusing on things that will eventually wont matter as much as they do now. i wanna talk to him so i talk to you. the idea that we havent talked in how many days is still weird but i understand being like this than anything. i wonder why i was about to cry that nigh... » Continue Reading
Category: Romance and Relationships
location: counch it's been a year since the last time i was writing. back at home for thanksgiving. but life isn't particularly as bad as it was a year ago. actually no, it's definitely much better. d doesn't hate me or even dislike me. i was so scared i permanently ruined something between us but he wanted to get over it. he wanted to work through it. fuck, i think about it and i just get so happ... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
location: da ej i don’t really wanna write about this for once. why the fuck am i the one venting when i fucked up. everything i say feels like a performance, an appeal to his emotions if he ever did read this. what could i say that could make him feel bad enough and forgive me in an instant. things i wished others said to me when they hurt me. who the fuck am i getting back at? what revenge did i... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
location: edge i hate feeling like this. people who mean nothing in hindsight of life meaning more than life itself in an instant. it's getting easier to breathe and forget though, but i just get so angry over things i can't control or understand. i want to be better but i see myself spiraling down regardless. seeing m talk to c alone is driving me crazy. a simple conversation. fuck. it's insane h... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
if i could talk to my past selves, i would want to talk to me at age 7, 12, and 15. somehow, it seems i thought i was grown my whole life. it's a weird feeling, to think back to who i was and wanting to meet me then. but past me is somehow still me. all my thoughts, feelings, and emotions are still me, from the day i was born. i'm not the same person i was at those ages, but weirdly enough, i am? ... » Continue Reading
— 2 Kudos
Category: Blogging
i come out of the bathroom. he goes in. i sit on the corner of his bed and try to stop feeling like i’m about to die. i think about an excuse to use to let me leave. im thinking and trying to decide and at the same time im trying to stop trembling. » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
location: still dont know we met on the second or third card night. we played bs. i didn't notice you at first, you were just a stranger and now i cant fathom not knowing you. i saw you laugh and i made it my goal to see you laugh again. the whole time we were yelling and i was being an idiot but you laughed and it made me so happy. im like a stupid kid the way i act around the people i like and w... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
location: not sure living life rn. reading fic and drinking frappe and listening to vocaloid. literally living life. being like this makes me feel more like a boy but in a cool sexy way. questions: does l want me and do i want her. i dont htink that i do but im not opposed to it i suppose. i guess im a lot like t in that regard idk if id be able to handle the full extent of l. i wonder. but im chi... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
location: couch at allister everyday without fail it seems. still thinking about that night. looking at your face and feeling fond and isit here and i regret not doing more and i regret doing anything at all. i cant fucking wait to be over this so i can think clearly. i hate longing. i hate regretting. especially if i know its not real. its never real. i hate feeling nothing and then feeling too m... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
im not mad anymore im just sad and a second of your attention would grant me peace so why is that too much for you. why do you sentence me to pain after already hurting me so. i just wish you would » Continue Reading
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