"wishing"
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https://blog.spacehey.com/frivolity
Category: Blogging
I hate that I remember. I hate that I remember all the things in life that make me feel alone. That's my problem. I remember the words that led me to starvation, to the edge of a knife. I want to be praised. I want him to say to me "You're my beautiful girl. You're a good girl." He shows it, always, but I need it to be said in his voice, in the way only he can say it. I dream of me and Boyfriend l... » Continue Reading
— 5 Kudos
Category: Blogging
I'm seeing the Hatsune Miku movie on Saturday which I'm pretty excited about. I've been a fan since 2008 and vocaloid was really the first genre of music I truly got into. I never went too deep into the rabbit hole at the time, but by the time I reached high school and I got back into anime, I just dove straight in. I've loved it for years. @import url('https://fonts.googleapis.com/css2?family=Li... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
I'm so sleepy. I want to recover from the weekend today, but I've got a job interview today. It's via zoom so it won't be too bad and at least I've got one, so I can't truly complain too much. Ever since I got back to California, I've felt tremendously depressed. I cry most nights unless I see Boyfriend. But it's exactly like it was before I left, it just feels worse because I stopped getting used... » Continue Reading
— 2 Kudos
Category: Blogging
I've been back in America for about four days and I've been incredibly tired. It's been difficult to sleep alone without Boyfriend next to me, but I'm doing my best to adjust. I forgot just how limited I was here. There aren't any safe buses to take and no way to walk outside without putting yourself in imminent danger. I keep thinking "I want to go home!" here even though I'm technically home. ... » Continue Reading
— 1 Kudos
Category: Blogging
It's been little over a month since I arrived in Mexico, but it's nearing the time to go home. I really felt ready to leave about two days ago, but I can stomach a few days longer. I was an absolute idiot to think that everyone I met would be nothing short of welcoming, but that's what I get for being an optimist. Boyfriend's got an impeccable sense of social awareness, and with this he weilds the... » Continue Reading
Category: Travel and Places
I've been in Mexico for two weeks as of last Saturday. I must say things are (unsurprisingly) very different from California. For starters, me and BF can walk out at night without fearing for our lives as the city we're staying in is the safest there is. I much prefer walking out at night as we get California temps with jungle humidity. I went and saw the pyramids in Chichen Itza on Saturday and ... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
I'm so tired. It's a bit over a week in and I've been ill with a cold since the second. It's clear good health wasn't on my 2025 fortune. Despite being ill, I've spent practically the whole week with my boyfriend, who didn't mind my dry skin, greasy hair, and abundance of snot which was very kind of him. I still have a bit of an annoying cough, but I'm hoping it'll clear up next week so I can sta... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
Choke back aspirin. Drumming in my head. Ba dump. Bump da. Drumming in my heart. Limp go the limbs and on goes the muzzle. Red vomit. Why? No ans » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
I've bought my ticket! I'm going to Mexico for the spring! That doesn't mean I'm going to stop writing here though. Far from it probably. Where I'm staying, there's a park right across the street. I bought myself a new mini notebook yesterday so I can visit the park and read books from the library and write. I am planning on taking a huge social media detox while I'm over there though. There's no... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
I AM DONE!!!! I HAVE FINISHED!!!!! NO MORE SCHOOL FOR ME EVER AGAIN IN MY FUCKING LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!! So, this week, finals week, was the most busy and brutal week in my life. I caught a cold on Monday which definitely didn't help motivation, but I did it!!! Commencement is tomorrow and then it's off to where ever life takes me! Me and Boyfriend currently plan on going to Mexico... » Continue Reading
— 1 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
The hair on my legs straightens down just like the hair above your lip. Tequila wrestles your tongue, resuscitating golden hair and silver eyes through soft, pink lips. I wish I'd known you then. I would have bit my tongue 'til it bled, b » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
Sacrifices. Stone cold sacrifices. I caught a cold. It's not super bad, I've had worse, but it sucks because today's Boyfriend's birthday. And though he's out of town, I feel guilty that I didn't stay up to wish him a happy birthday at midnight last night. I should've stayed up to call him even though I was tired. Finals have been taking everything out of me. Whatever this stupid illness hasn't t... » Continue Reading
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