my names evan angel (some may call me evangeline), im a dude errrrrr i like art (music, painting, books, etc.), reading, thinking very deeply my favey colours are pastel pink and blue, red and black. All colours are beautiful actually, it just depends on the harmony. i think a lot of what i say pertains to my profile haha im picky about a lot of things links in my strawpage @font-fa » Continue Reading
First blog of the year!! Happy new year!! Not rlly a happy one for me tho I'm once again in a major depressive episode,, this time I've not been able to eat properly for days. I just don't have the appetite. I also seem to lose touch with reality - constantly dissociating and thinking I have no purpose in life. There's rlly no reason for me to move on with life. I don't have big aspirations outsid... » Continue Reading
atp im sure im in a major depressive mood/episode. Ive been sleeping too much and im becoming weaker (and lazier at that). i relapsed multiple times recently but im too weak to carve even deeper. its also rlly boring. theres nothing to distract me anymore. my yarns r finished, we dont have money and im hungry. everythings gone. nothings happening. on the plus side (if u see it that way), ive been ... » Continue Reading
Haven't written a public blog in a while. Everything's just the same, with a little downward spiral. I feel like I'm getting worse. I keep skipping schools n almost got expelled for that. I wish I did tho, I rlly can't stand it anymore. I can't stand waking up in the morning just to feel a wave of embarrassment n anxiety from ppl staring at school. I can't stand my enemy, I can't stand my ex-fp, ... » Continue Reading
Me and a friend had a discussion abt our types. She already has a bf tho so good for her but the main focus was on my type. I told her I like crazy men. Obsessive, eccentric, batshit insane n probably went to the psych ward numerous times. I'm mentally unstable myself (I think it's obvious) which is probably why I prefer mentally unstable guys over the mentally stable ones,,, because I can relate... » Continue Reading
Ik I've called myself an "irl yandere" but I only use it to cope with my obsessive behaviour!!! However, I've always had a love-hate relationship with the label... n im starting to hate it even more... First of all, the fans are cringe and annoying. They expect a sexy-cute-pink-haired anime girl to stalk and obsess over them. They're not even "husband material"... and they expect too high of yande... » Continue Reading
Note: I used the term hikkikomori in the title for better understanding since Japanese terms tend to get so popular and understandable. I've realised I'm a social recluse. I barely talk nor make friends. I stay in my bedroom all day because it's my safe space. If I were to talk or be in social event, I'd be anxious or have a panic attack. I fear what ppl may think abt me. I fear I might do somethi... » Continue Reading
I went to school with a rlly bad stomach ache, i didnt think much of it until it was too late. My stomach was ACHING the entire day, it hurt so bad i could hardly breathe. anyways, like the title said. It was pe n i left my stuff unattended for a while to talk with some friends. I saw a group of "the boyzzz" checking out my tablet, presumably to check the time and along the way, they saw my wallp... » Continue Reading
TW: SH AND MENTIONS OF SUICIDE I think this week is gonna be the worst week ever n it's just Tuesday. Yesterday [24.7.23], I woke up in a bad mood. I don't remember much that's happened (shortest memory ever recorded omfg) but all I can remember is that during assembly, I looked down on the balcony n thought of jumping off (suicide ofc). But I didn't, not bc I snapped back to reality but because ... » Continue Reading