Ik I've called myself an "irl yandere" but I only use it to cope with my obsessive behaviour!!! However, I've always had a love-hate relationship with the label... n im starting to hate it even more...
First of all, the fans are cringe and annoying. They expect a sexy-cute-pink-haired anime girl to stalk and obsess over them. They're not even "husband material"... and they expect too high of yanderes (specifically on female yanderes). I bet if they saw an actual "yandere" (aka stalker, creep, etc.) irl, they'd cry, even if it was a woman.
Secondly, "crazy women" are still mentally ill!!! U are basically taking advantage of them!!! Yes, they can consent but if u like their "craziness" solely for the fact that they're "good in bed" then that is bad!!! and youre mad that she asks u to take responsibility... smh
This is what i mean!!!
On the subject of the label as a means of coping.
Obsession: "an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person's mind."
Obsession ≠ love. Though i may think otherwise when im obsessed (especially with a certain someone). When youre obsessed with something, your obsessive brain tricks you into thinking youre in love. Which is not true in most cases but genuine love and obsession can coexist.
For example, youre obsessed with someone (duh). In actuality, youre obsessed with them bc youre attached to them, something abt them pulls u closer to them. Something that gives u a sense of safety, something youve never had/have always craved for (mainly from childhood) and u dont want that to go away. So u take in great efforts to keep them with you: adapting/copying their personality, looking through their interests + any other traits that is usually categorised as "obsessive". You think youre in love because youve become a mirror of your fp and you think that would get them to stay with u.
Obsession isnt always abt someone, sometimes it can be habits and anything else that interests you (to an obsessive degree ofc).
This is from the view of my (already mentally unstable) obsessive brain. Im highly aware of this but i become delusional again once im obsessive. Im open to different perspectives of obsession/attachment :3
If youre struggling with obsessiveness/severe codependency/attachment/abandonment issues (good lord thats a lot) and cant afford therapy, the best i could do is provide rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). I learnt this from a counselling session and this gave me an insight on what my behavior is like from the view of a non-obsessive person.
and some links to learn more abt REBT!! <3
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rational_emotive_behavior_therapy
https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-rational-emotive-behavior-therapy
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