"suffering"
despair
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Category: Writing and Poetry
I have seen the texts between you and her. The ones where you opened up so much more to a girl you barely knew rather than just telling me, who was the girl you were in love with. So in love with that you promised to spend forever with me, to marry me, and to always love me and never give up no matter what. I saw the things you said. The private things that you had no right to tell, the things you... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
I don't want to move on. Not just because I know I can't, or because I know you were my first love so even making an attempt to forget you is pointless. But because everything lined up with us. I know in the end with all the fighting and all the arguing that you lost hope, but I know you would've loved the girl that I was when you first met me. You met me when I was at my best in life. When I was ... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
I saw a deer in my dream once. I believe that ever since, my life has been cursed somehow. Some people say if you see a deer, that means you'll die soon. Others say it is a positive omen that will bring you good luck. I believe that ever since I was little, after the dream, my life was never the same again. Although, I am not dead, nothing good has come out of most of the things I have done in my ... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
I hate change. Big changes. Like rearranging my room or getting a new bed because the previous one was so overused for so many years that it started to fall apart and squeak when you made the slightest movements. But by far the worst change is losing you. It feels like taking daily medication for ages. One that makes you feel better, happier, stronger. One that makes waking up in the morning and ... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
Sometimes life isn't ready for the happy part, so when you are happy, it will send you crashing down. the higher the sky scraper you are on, the more you will fall. my teacher was talking about math and how if you don't write the formula down, you'll get it wrong. If you don't remember the formula, you'll get it wrong. She tells the people who do get it wrong how to do it correctly and they just d... » Continue Reading
— 4 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
I know you may not want me anymore, but please don't ghost me. You said it yourself, we could still be friends. I'm trying to act like a friend, I am trying my best to hold back the questions and the conversations I am so desperately wanting to have with you. I am dying to text you about anything and everything. I know I can't. Right now, you aren't the same person I am in love with, it's like tha... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
You warned me this would happen. I didn't listen. I thought I had it under control, but I didn't. I thought that it was just another passing moment and it would all get better, but I was wrong. I didn't do anything to help it or get better, and I let my mental health deteriorate. It ruined us. I am so sorry I didn't listen when you had warned me those months ago. If you don't have good mental heal... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
Losing the love of your life changes you. You lose that spark that you used to have. That warm gentle happiness you had even in the darkest moment of the relationship because you were still so in love that no matter what, you were still in a relationship with the love of your life. You were used to the daily texting. Good morning texts, worried texts when you seemed off, even just random texts, et... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
Even after everything that had happened, I know that none of it was entirely your fault. Yet, I am still so hurt that I haven't been able to eat. Every time I get up, I almost pass out. You told me that you would hurt me so much more if you did not leave now, but it was a lie. Nothing will ever amount to how bad this hurts. I had so many nightmares in one night alone, I woke up shaking and feeling... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
With every passing car, I hope it's you. I pray to a god that I don't even believe in that it's you coming to my house to tell me everything is going to be okay. Every time I heard a car go by, I would close my eyes and hope and wish that it was you. To be held in your embrace, kissed on the forehead, and be told it will all be okay. That is all I could ever want. I will never be able to accept th... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
Rage. A feeling so intense, it makes my entire body flush with heat. Once a rare emotion that only came out in the most dire of situations. But recently, it has been so prominent. I have massive purple bruises and discoloration on my legs from it now. All the pain, hurt, utter desperation, and sadness have built up to the point I cannot contain my emotions. My mind has given up on painting a swe... » Continue Reading
— 1 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
I am so tired of crying every single night. So, I stood staring at myself in the mirror before I got into the shower. I debated whether or not to overdose on the anxiety medication I was prescribed a year ago but never started. Why should I keep trying when there is nothing to try for? Even after opening the bottle and nearly allowing myself to overdose, I got into the shower. Leaving the unopened... » Continue Reading
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