I can't imagine a life with you.

With every passing car, I hope it's you. I pray to a god that I don't even believe in that it's you coming to my house to tell me everything is going to be okay. Every time I heard a car go by, I would close my eyes and hope and wish that it was you. To be held in your embrace, kissed on the forehead, and be told it will all be okay. That is all I could ever want.

I will never be able to accept that it is over. I woke up at least three times last night from the most terrifying nightmares. I haven't slept good at all. I can't eat, no matter how starving I feel, the horrible anxiety that has not left my stomach since the afternoon yesterday has caused me to not be able to digest anything. My hands have not stopped shaking. I keep having to retype things because of how shaky I am and because of how messed up my mind is right now.

I wish you knew how much I am willing to change. If you would just talk to me and hear what I have to say, I think it would help us. Just please don't tell me it's over. I know you say you can't do this, and that you can't stay. But please don't leave. Please just say you shouldn't stay, but you want to; so you will.

I can't imagine not being able to see you. I can't imagine not going to your house and seeing your parents and brothers. I can't imagine not being able to pet and give attention to your cat and dog. I can't imagine not being able to eat the delicious food your family cooks. I can't imagine not being able to be with you, being in your arms, breathing in your scent, etc. I can't imagine a world without you.

I love you.