"Always open to talking. "
I’m a massive confusing creep.
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Category: Life
He is frustrating me but I do kinda feel better now I got a new little buddy to take of. I did lose my cool early this morning and yelled at him to calm down. He got scared and I felt bad but he seems to have forgiven me. I got him a large playpen today and set it up. The sizing is much bigger than expected so I’ll be sleeping awkwardly until I can get the proper floor space. I will be sorting tha... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I don’t know. I ask myself that a lot. I’ve not eaten anything besides mochi and some chocolate I had left in my drawer. It’s not that I’m avoiding food it’s that I just have no appetite and no feeling of hunger. I’m like the scared teenager who had yet to discover the comfort of having a cat. This time unfortunately I no longer have a cat to look to for comfort. I’m alone and home is incased in a... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I can’t seem to feel much. I’m getting angrier for sure and a little more reckless. Before I had something to come home too but now? Not so much. Don’t really care. I don’t like being in this house anymore, I hate food, I want more tattoos and piercings, sleeping is a chore and the exhaustion is my allowance. I’m aware I’m getting worse and I’m aware my progress is beginning to relapse but I can’... » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
I woke up to a phone call accusing me of laughing throughout the night. Wasn’t, didn’t chuckle at all. Messaged my brother to see if he had his girlfriend over but even he didn’t have a clue where the laughing came from. I managed to convince the caller it wasn’t me. I was in a shit ton of pain both mentally and physically. I got up eventually and went to make food and it ended with me thinking ab... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Somehow this is the calmest I’ve been all day. I’m listening to the rain pour at four in the morning with some ASMR playing in my ears whilst my head is a little bit quiet. Earlier was a minor struggle, voices so loud and intrusive. Scream, shove the display other, tell the obese woman she is disgusting, shove the man off his bike etc. Shadows seemed to be everywhere that I’m surprised I just walk... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I’m not sure why. I used to be able to tolerate people but now I’m instantly suspicious of anyone new or growing paranoid around who I’ve been on good terms with previously. Turns out for two I’ve been on the right though. I was talking in a group chat as per normal mentioned a brief thing that happened which could be seen as strange or unusual to anyone. Someone who I barely new replied with a j... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Doing anything last night was frustrating as fuck. Pretty sure the bruises on my head aren’t going to go away for a while and I’m surprised several of my electronics work and that nobody even woke up. I had to reset my box because the damn thing wouldnt turn on no matter how much I tried. I checked the website and it turns out this is a stupidly common occurrence; you think a large company would ... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
The past couple of days are beginning to feel strange. I’ve woken up but I can’t remember waking up. It’s like I’ve been laying in one single spot for hours just looking at his bed; did I even blink? Did my eyes close at all? I thought I dreamed but now I’m not sure. I don’t remember falling asleep or laying down. I don’t remember laying down at all till I turned on my music and went on my phone.... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I know I’ve been working on recovery, waking up and attempting to push myself but there’s still a lot sat on my shoulders. It’s like it’s growling trying to get my attention. Still no diagnosis set in stone. I’m getting head stabbed tomorrow. Industrial and a septum. Some family members hate the septum, probably hate my body mods all together and maybe that’s why they give me a cold shoulder. I’m... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
The more confident I begin the feel. Noting a happier part of me I haven’t seen in a while. I was too busy shoving myself into different things to distract from what I should really be doing. To avoid hurtful comments. Now the question is who’s gonna be ok? Coming out, the honesty, getting the beat to my own drum, etc. I know during the past when I’ve mentioned these things I’ve been met with a s... » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
I hate it. I hate it so fucking much. There’s no reason for me to even be in it anymore. No one will be waiting for me to return to it so why bother? It isn’t home, it hasn’t been home for the past ten days and the people in it certainly make it feel like a dump. I went swimming today and I had a moment of just feeling better. I did get nervous at the end but I still felt better. Unfortunately wh... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I thought a lot. Put my feelings back into place and bringing up past thoughts and feelings. I noted where my confidence was and the way I existed in certain people’s eyes vs my close friends and my sister. I started writing away in a new notebook I got and decided at that point I’m going to try and be who I wanna be and find my feet as much as I can. I don’t wanna live like this forever. I’m fas... » Continue Reading
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