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He is frustrating me but I do kinda feel better now I got a new little buddy to take of. I did lose my cool early this morning and yelled at him to calm down. He got scared and I felt bad but he seems to have forgiven me. I got him a large playpen today and set it up. The sizing is much bigger than expected so I’ll be sleeping awkwardly until I can get the proper floor space. I will be sorting that out tomorrow.
He won’t be in the pen 24/7 but I really need to get some sleep and be able to do some things without getting worried or returning to find him stuck somewhere again. Hopefully as he matures he’ll calm down. We got about three more weeks till his next vaccinations and then he should’ve grown some more to properly fit into his harness for walks.
I think I might delete more social media. I mentioned in a bulletin but that’ll be gone soon I deleted Reddit. Half of its user base is disturbingly ok with pedophilia and the sexualisation of children. One person tried to argue with me about allowing children to dance sexually; it was disturbing how right they thought they were and how ok they were with children being hurt. Luckily others also backed me up and called the person out on their behaviour. I blocked them after I got upset by their replies. Before that I did look at their page and they have a toddler which feels even worse.
I don’t want to be angry at them completely either because it might be a case where they are suffering from their trauma and for them the behaviour is painted as normal. If they are a sick pervert though hopefully they’ll be dead before I am.
I should’ve deleted Reddit the moment I joined the protests about the sick admin. The fact that it took so long to get rid of her should’ve been a red flag on its own but I never saw it for some reason. I’m not good with seeing the flags for some reason and it’s had moments of paranoia over the most innocent things.
I should return to therapy when I feel ready to do so again. I’ve been afraid for a while because of the two awful women who lied and didn’t listen to me during my first session. They didn’t even give me contact details either and refused to talk to me any further instead telling me “you need to call the number on the letter”. There was no number at all and I was left alone.
I might use them as inspiration for shitty people in any future books I write after I finish university. I need to turn my future around and make it ok. I can’t stay in one place where I will surely drown.
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