"Struggling With My Neurotic Tenancies "
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Category: Life
Her. I'm not the jealous type, but he won't seem to move. He says he wants to leave her. He says she's not the one. That he worships the ground I walk on. That he would do anything, be anything, to have me. Yet he spends his time making plans and seeing them through with her. My situation is admittedly more complicated than his. He can just move out. He can just up and leave at any time. I can't... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Where do I begin? This last month has been a whirlwind. I’m so fucking happy about it. I’m in love. So unequivocally wrapped up in all that he is. He’s incredible. A true partner. I honestly believe that I have found my twin flame, which is CRAZY! He’s so much like me that it’s sickening. Down to the cookies we like. It sounds stupid but we agree on so much of the same stuff. Life could be easy, ... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Today C spent time talking about the miracle of life and bringing a child into this world. How magical and beautiful it is. This was not my experience at all and hearing this so often kills me. K had her baby. Her first one (and she’s so perfect). She talked about how beautiful her birthing experience was and how she was meant for this (being a mom). The envy is glaring. I just feel so robbed. ... » Continue Reading
— 2 Kudos
Category: Life
My Darling Son, They say that when you die, your life flashes before your eyes. They say you see everything you have ever done. Every decision you have ever made. Every sad moment, and every happy one. Of this I am certain. In my last moments before I depart from this earth, I hope you know that my final thoughts will peacefully rest within the memories of these very days I get to spend with ... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I’m writing again. After an odd streak of writers block. Scratch that, a lack of time and energy. Not so much a lack of passion. I’m publishing on pocket FM under a pen name. I hope my stories can take off. I write because I like it, but it would be nice to have someone…. anyone….. appreciate my work! Fingers crossed. I uploaded my first chapter. I need to get to 10 chapters before they start do... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I feel like I have had so much to say over the last couple of weeks. I felt the muses of the written word calling me. The gentle nudge that grew into a full force shove, only to be ignored. Now it’s 2:21am in a snow storm, and I am drawing a blank. I want to be writing more and expressing more of my feelings. Getting it all out there. Shamelessly, I might add. For now though, aside from checking i... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I’ve always considered myself a bit of a dreamer, but lately my ADHD has been on overdrive. I’m obsessed with something so incredibly unattainable. I know it’s unattainable, but it doesn’t make me want it any less. It’s been all I can think about for more than a month. It’s been in the back of my mind for years now. I have made my decisions and come to vehemently regret them. This is not usual fo... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Thought of the day: I am always happiest around people who share my birth week. From family to best friends, I just like these people more than others. There… I FINALLY said it.🥵 I’m not one for astrology, but I do wonder if there is some kind of explanation there. With that in mind, I am missing Tyson, Cody and Katie a lot this week. I miss the characters and sins of my youth most. Next thought:... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Our paths crossed like it was brought on by some kind of magic. Treacherous and cruel. I long for more time and interaction with you. My darling friend, I miss you dearly. If I could ask you anything, truly anything, it wouldn’t be about work. I would ask you how you are, really? How are you healing? How was the pandemic for you? How is your day to day life? Are you ok? I hope you are ok. I woul... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I must admit that I had never really given any thought to my first Mother’s Day, but this…. admittedly, is not how I wanted things to turn out for myself. » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I don’t know how much longer I can hold out.. Watching you electively neglect any and every last important thing in your life for your addiction is killing me. Watching you neglect your child, lie, not take care of yourself.... I can’t handle it. When you yell and take it out on me, I can’t function. This year I needed you. I needed you to be present in my life. I needed you to be present for yo... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
When prompted with the option for a quick escape, I always seem to run towards it. I’ve spent the last several years fighting and I just can’t do it anymore. I’m exhausted. I need help. I’m walking away from my dreams in a sense. Every asset I’ve cultivated, connection I’ve nurtured, and pleasure I’ve locked secretly away in my own space will be gone. I’m trading freedom for safety, which I hate.... » Continue Reading
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