"Haunting your dreams👻"
hot and a little evil
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SpaceHey Blog URL:
https://blog.spacehey.com/spookii_ghost
Category: Blogging
well it's been a while but i need to rant and i'm pretty sure no one will see this so it feels like the best place i wanna die i wanna croak so badly i can't take it i wasn't meant for this i wasn't meant to be here nothing about my identity feels stable right now i wanna be a banana. but i'm not a banana and that's fine lots of people are bananas that were not bananas before but i want to be... » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
when your not depressed you forget what it feels like i always go through the same cycle i'm happy this will last forever and without outside events triggering an emotions i won't ever feel sad again! why do i feel so numb oh i'm depressed again it feels like i'll be stuck forever in this rotting state repeat and i know it's silly but no matter what my mindset is never this is a cycle you will ... » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
i wanna have a boyfriend but i want a boy who sees me as a boy and we are boyfriends i wanna be in a gay boy relationship :((((( toodles4now » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
this is going to get very personal and uhh very embarrassing but in honour of this blog providing me more emotional vulnerability than any other therapist or councillor combined i thought fuck it the internet is a vast void meant to scream into and so what if this small corner of its endlessness knows my deepest darkest secrets at least it will be out there and not just contained inside me forever... » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
as a kid i had a lot of guy friends we had the same interests and in 1st grade that was basically any and all personality you had developed so what u liked generally determined who you would be friends with kids don't have a superimposed sense of gender then. i mean there is the bass stuff that's basically programmed into them by the time they are born but it's not very structured and it's easy t... » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
when i get like this i just want to shut down and isolate i have so many plans this week but i feel like i'm just trying to keep busy so i don't have to be alone and yet i wanna run and hide find some reason to hate everyone i know and just go back to being alone but then the isolation turns to self deprecation and i want people to fill the void so i make plans and then i bail and the cycle r » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
been a while since i blogged was working a lot but got #fired so that's fun except it's the opposite of fun i'm so upset it sucks being disabled and trying to find work i don't like to talk about it a lot because i feel like most my friends don't understand from a young age just wanting to scoop out my brain and fix it i wanna be able to read properly i wanna be able to function i wanna be able to... » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
been house sitting for my cousin these past few days and the entire time i've just binge watched the good place and ate fruit salads it's been awesome also taking care of her cat robert goulet amazing name for a cat brain is keeping me awake thinking about every disappointment ever tired of being used for other peoples self discovery then getting tossed aside expected to just be ok with shit... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
ocd is weird TW: intrusive thoughts how do i tell people that my brain literally makes up consequences for itself for literally just thinking THE THING THE BRAIN IS SUPPOSED TO DO bruh. specifically existential ocd i've been plagued with knowing my own mortality since a young age my parents left me alone a lot as a kid but i was so scared that i would never see them again and that » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
i've transed my gender well ryan has transed my gender they/he if ur like hey this is so sudden! u would be wrong in the 4th grade i cried a lot at the fact that i couldn't be a boy and keep being perceived as gender less (ok i didn't know gender stuff but i knew people were treating me differently when i got boobs and did girl anything) so yeah i could go on about how surprise! i've never » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
my parents come back at midnight tn after being away for 3 weeks i got like a tutorial for living alone although i'm no stranger to being ditched for vacations marsh is currently sleeping and i'm waiting for them to wake up to start vacuuming the whole house i hate the sound of vacuumes i don't have many physical overstimulation things but noise omg i asked my mom once whats something that has ... » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
today in valorant death match i got 23 kills i started yesterday and i didn't get many good things today but that was definitely one ryan came over today while i love seeing him he brought a mess in my kitchen that i will finish dealing with tmr i worked for the cat sitting job i got today! well i didn't get the job today i just did my first few visits alone also pay day woot woot 45% of my pay w... » Continue Reading
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