"extremely haunted"
peroxide. 21. nyc.
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SpaceHey Blog URL:
https://blog.spacehey.com/iamperoxide
Category: Life
feeling like my life is so finite these days. like there is no grasp on anything — i am just waiting until it all gives out. and after that i won’t know what to do. in every good moment there’s me hanging on to it because I Don’t Know When This Will Happen Again. here’s the portrait of someone who doesn’t know what’s going on. here’s the picture of someone who is never on time. here’s the image of... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
iamperoxide more like iamabrokenrecord because i just say the same things over and over again. how can i not? i am largely miserable. and when you’re doing as bad as i am you really want to talk about it as much as possible because if you don’t you die. at least that’s my case. one thing about me is that my life entirely depends on other peoples niceness and mercy. that validation is always being ... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
i find myself grieving at the thought of growing once again. it’s not that i want things to be the way they used to be (i don’t think so anyways); i just look back and wish i had more time before it all changed so fast. it’s a little messed up. you wait and you wait and you wait and suddenly there still wasn’t enough time. This Is All You Wanted And More. but there’s nowhere to run. it’s just you ... » Continue Reading
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Category: SpaceHey
today i've been on spacehey for... ! ! ! T W O W H O » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
sometimes when i’m in the back of a car late at night i like to close my eyes and pretend i’m 12 or 10 or 8 and i’m in my parents car and we’re going home and it’s really not that late at all, maybe only 11 pm, but it feels so late and we finally pull into the driveway and i’m home and i sleep. then i open my eyes again and there are no driveways anymore. it’s just me. it’s always just me. and i w... » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
the worlds most tortured soul (me) finally got a break. in LA for the week. i’m trying not to get too attached. walked around beverly hills the same way i walk around park slope hoping someone will come out of the beautiful houses and be my best friend and pay off my student loans and help me be beautiful and clean just like everyone else here. all that happens is the usual; i pet a few dogs, lie ... » Continue Reading
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Category: Writing and Poetry
even though i’m more than content with my new life, something deep down still bites at me to change it. You’ve got too much going on, all at once. Maybe you should drop it all, move to a little town, be small and still for once. i tell it to be quiet because everything is wonderful. this is the first winter where i haven’t been so sad. i can really say that. because isn’t that something? for as lo... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
wake up and the air is clean. breathe. listen and the air is quiet. breathe. it is cool but not cold, warm but not hot. feel. it’s all so soft. smells fresh because you want it to. clothes, soft. fresh. warm. cool. fresh. breathe. oranges, lemons, cinnamon sticks. laying down in the bathtub. clean. breathe. paper towels don’t run out. i fall asleep; just like that. the food is there. it’s always t... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
tomorrow we are getting snowed in; i am a byproduct of everyone i’ve ever known. and i am listening all the time. but there is never perfectness. ever. in the backseat of the car, in the basement, it’s all going wrong. i love life and it still nips at me. why? » Continue Reading
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Category: Writing and Poetry
on the walk home, my own mortality gripped me. getting older is not a small feat. i spent the night embracing it only to be wracked with nerves in the last hour. everything was out to get me - the cars, the streets, the sky. people with their groceries walking by. dogs and bikes and road signs and crosswalks. i stumbled into them all. the shadowy figures in the park, the hospitals. it was all too ... » Continue Reading
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Category: Writing and Poetry
(i think) i am your favorite state of emergency. it doesn’t always have to end in tragedy. i’m always thinking about the next crash (or not). » Continue Reading
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