iamperoxide

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"extremely haunted"

peroxide. 21. nyc.

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new year cleansing - blog update (read)

Category: Life

finally made 90% of my blogs private... i'd been meaning to for a while. condensed ~20something pages into 4ish. honestly i've realized that i'm an incredibly private person in most ways and i didn't really appreciate 19 year old me plastering the entirety of my senior year of highschool on here, so its all gone from the public except some poems and things. part of it was enjoyable but a lot of it... » Continue Reading

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getting out

Category: Writing and Poetry

what is getting out? to me getting out means leaving a place that makes you unhappy. usually this is a place you live in. i don’t think the place must be small or absolutely horrible unlike what most people think of when they think of this concept. of course, most people who talk about getting out usually come from small or horrible places. however i think the place you leave could be very big, or... » Continue Reading

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the cure to growing up

Category: Writing and Poetry

i think i learned how to smile at nineteen. sometimes i look back on the grandest days of my life. there aren't that many, but there are some. like last October and how i felt like i was showing myself to people for the first time in my whole life. because in some way i was. so i made it as grand as i could. there are some people in this world who want to impact people in very direct ways. like 'i... » Continue Reading

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a different kind of self-sabotage

Category: Writing and Poetry

even though i’m more than content with my new life, something deep down still bites at me to change it. You’ve got too much going on, all at once. Maybe you should drop it all, move to a little town, be small and still for once. i tell it to be quiet because everything is wonderful. this is the first winter where i haven’t been so sad. i can really say that. because isn’t that something? for as lo... » Continue Reading

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citrus

Category: Writing and Poetry

wake up and the air is clean. breathe. listen and the air is quiet. breathe. it is cool but not cold, warm but not hot. feel. it’s all so soft. smells fresh because you want it to. clothes, soft. fresh. warm. cool. fresh. breathe. oranges, lemons, cinnamon sticks. laying down in the bathtub. clean. breathe. paper towels don’t run out. i fall asleep; just like that. the food is there. it’s always t... » Continue Reading

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can’t

Category: Writing and Poetry

tomorrow we are getting snowed in; i am a byproduct of everyone i’ve ever known. and i am listening all the time. but there is never perfectness. ever. in the backseat of the car, in the basement, it’s all going wrong. i love life and it still nips at me. why? » Continue Reading

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year of the

Category: Writing and Poetry

on the walk home, my own mortality gripped me. getting older is not a small feat. i spent the night embracing it only to be wracked with nerves in the last hour. everything was out to get me - the cars, the streets, the sky. people with their groceries walking by. dogs and bikes and road signs and crosswalks. i stumbled into them all. the shadowy figures in the park, the hospitals. it was all too ... » Continue Reading

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good words are bad feelings

Category: Writing and Poetry

(i think) i am your favorite state of emergency.  it doesn’t always have to end in tragedy.  i’m always thinking about the next crash (or not). » Continue Reading

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trust yourself

Category: Writing and Poetry

woke up today to the type of scene where angels are born and fairies leave their marks. snow piled on cars and trees and everything else touched in its wake. new piercings. crash. drink. crash. more. crash. hands. crash. hair. crash. sinks. crash. closets. crash. pass out. crash. wake up. crash. pass out. crash. me and you setting in the honeymoon. me and you crashing in the bathroom closet floor ... » Continue Reading

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day 1

Category: Writing and Poetry

when will the tightness in my chest give out and when will the desire be fulfilled and when does overindulgence last until. and when does suburbia come back to me in a way i like. and when does the dryness in the air go away. when do i stop playing the game and just give in. and when am i alone if ever. and a happy new year… » Continue Reading

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_m_rg_ncy la_di_g

Category: Writing and Poetry

who are your new friends? where did they come from? who are my new friends? you noticed my new friends? are you getting your big break? are you jealous of me yet? can i get jealous of you too? do you still think about me? do you think of our memories? do you walk on the sidewalk? will i see you on tv? can i go to your old street? can i go to my old house? will i die in a car crash? or a bus, or a ... » Continue Reading

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