repost from somewhere else. heavy tw of self harm and depression and death. thought i might put it here too ig. For those of you who might be in a hard place but still fighting, you might wanna see this. im really sad that no one in my family takes me seriously. i work so damn hard. i fight for a better life. ive stared hardship and pain and that downward spiral into undesponsive hell in the face.... » Continue Reading
tw: death, extreem dark talks, existentialism and possibly sh. youve been warned. Been thinking about death and darkness. its a heavy life we live, and if im gonna think insanely i might as well talk it here. if you ignored the trigfer warning, this is your last chance to reconsider. i talk heavy. if your day will be ruined, please i beg look away. I think part of what happens after we die depend... » Continue Reading
wheeew. fun! just thinking about my feelings. not sure how long this is gonna be. but eh. I have a weird relationship with friendship. Im good at it ig, i can make friends easily and build strong friendships fast and like nothing. The thing is, i have trouble judging character and setting boundries. Ive made poor decisions in the past and built up toxic friends that felt hurtful and trapping, and... » Continue Reading
just feeling like typing something… if im gonna think, might as well get it down into words. So here we go. Was thinking about how I interact with people. Funny, I don’t have much of an online presence. I’m mediocre at best but often shit at digital communication, got a late start for better or worse. On the one hand, ive built up a healthy relationship with screens and online communications which... » Continue Reading
I’m a little bit trapped in my own head. I stare out into space in a daze, people move their hands infront of me as a joke or to get my attention, and i only half notice. Honestly, I dont even know if people dont understand or are too afraid to ask, and do I even understand it? God only knows I guess. My brain is a little bit like a double edged sword. I kinda. Just ferment in it. I sit in my men... » Continue Reading
something. something about this moment. its a deep feeling. I know I have anxiety. I know my friends are suffering and I’m worried. I know that I’ve learned a lot of troubling and complicated news in the last couple hours and im trying to process, and I know that its probably nothing or I’m superstitious or I’m stuck in my head or I’m homesick. But every time. Every time I let myself ignore my ins... » Continue Reading
(I was bored, and sitting in a car of people arguing, so I choose to write down some lyrics. Not a full song, just shreds. Maybe thats what I was going for, enjoy.) I send my heart through the phone, My text is left on read, gotta smile for the tone its platonic painted red A thread, a doubled edge I wince and double over your stead, get out of bed, » Continue Reading
“Above the clouds, its almost as if my problems are all gone.” I’d like to tell myself but I’d be lying. The sharp pain in my back as I twitch and twist in my polyester seat the man next to me a stranger my other side a sheet of glass and sky. My foot taps absentmindedly And I brace for an impact that never comes. Should I sleep or stay awak » Continue Reading
hey there! i did a few tarot readings, and i showed em to a friend and we both did our takes on them! bare in mind if you are tarot pros that we just do this casually and its our takes, bur for those new to tarot know there isnt any “right” interpretation for any set of cards, so feel free to make your own! Not my first reading of the day, but the one I’d like to share first! i was flying today, ... » Continue Reading
To feel someone there. I march along my knife edge my feet are rough and tough to cut. Its a path paved in tears some mine, some not. From below, the smiling void beckons. » Continue Reading
its not quiet here. There are people playing games, someone laughing, and the music from my headphones. But something. It feels a bit. Heavier? It reminds me of that which I've lost, that which I've found. I got a tarot reading by a friend recently... and I got The Hermit as the signifying card for me. Even the cards know I'm lonely. Its... its odd. Atleast, it feels odd to me. J feel like crying,... » Continue Reading
hey there! this is a continuation from a previous blog post… so to understand this you’ll wanna read that other one if you arnt up to speed! So uh. yesterday. My friend ended up responding to me, the one who broke up with her ex. Yeah, she told me that she felt really sad… not really sure why, but that it wasnt my fault. I felt so bad… I kept apologizing. She mentioned something about her ex… and ... » Continue Reading
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