thoughts and shit

Was thinking about how I interact with people. Funny, I don’t have much of an online presence. I’m mediocre at best but often shit at digital communication, got a late start for better or worse. On the one hand, ive built up a healthy relationship with screens and online communications which has defended and sheltered me from early on dangerous encounters. On the other hand, sometimes being online feels awkward, and reading online signals is much harder to learn. I’m pretty intune with people irl. Confident and insightful, im that guy who talks about reading people’s faces to know what their thinking. The thing is, ya cant do that online. Its kinda like a blank slate, and with the pandemic pushing most of my social contact online its just blugh. My social skills and capabilities are scrapped to shit. Pair that with my families shitty wifi and poor phone plan, and I have technological restrictions too. 

Ok. enough venting. maybe something lighter? ah, I wanna talk about a favorite pastime of mine thats a lil creepy but on topic: analyzing people. I dont know when I started doing it, but for a very long time I keep mental catalouges of how individual people think and feel. To go further, I can even contextualize it, and on various occasions and for like parties and shit i will verbally psychoanalyze people and pick apart how they work. As far as practicality, it lets me know what the person is doing, how they would respond to certien situations, and predict what they could be doing. Its fun, and unconcious, and often just something to put my focus on when I have too much energy. I’ve gotten pretty damn good at it too. Its a pride, but ofc sometimes ill read someone wrong. Not using it for evil or anything, and I dont often notice I’m doing it. I just. make mental notes and shit, ya know? it makes me good at romance advice even tho ive never dated… ive gotten a crap ton of friends dates through it. In a way, it can be bad too, as sometimes i confuse what I read on others with what I’m actually feeling, or say something distasteful or too on point and hurt someone. I usually try not to share my thoughts unless directly asked. 

Anyways, thats some random topics iwanted to talk about. hope yalls days are well