people will boo me but we need to talk about men. I think we could afford to not be so nonchalant with them falling behind. We can't go forward in feminism if we don't take men with us. Ofc stay anti patriarchy but to be more aware and to just care about the struggles of men would be really so much help. also it's crazy to think america's economic powerhouses tend to be dem states. It's super iron... » Continue Reading
I've been single my whole life. And a phrase I have heard maybe one too many times throughout this experience is: "you need to love yourself before you can love anyone else" I don't know if the words are meant to be used as motivation, or a warning. I do know it's ironic. It almost feels like the message is "don't seek the love of others when you need it the most." It made sense, and then it didn'... » Continue Reading
I think I finally made it out of a rut I didn't even know I was in. I think a lot of it is like post-crush clarity. That crush really did its BIG ONE on me, that's crazy. It kind fucked my self esteem for a little bit but I feel a lot better now. It's crazy because I was borderline panicking about the fact I didn't know what to do with myself outside of a crush. It felt like a crutch to make life ... » Continue Reading
I've been working up the courage to start journaling literally all day but I have a few things on my plate. It's 4th of July 2024, and last Pride Weekend I went out and had so much fun but my phone got stolen and I feel like that fact is like- tainting my memory of the whole night. I just feel such a level of embarrassment and shame and I feel like it's gonna fester inside me and eat me up alive i... » Continue Reading
My Playlist for him went as follows: Chasing Pavements - Adele (opening credits) Streets -Doja Cat Me on your Arm - Leith Ross Good Luck Babe! - Chappell Roan (end credits) (sl*t him out - baby tate) (hidden track) Okay let's get this on paper to stop the world to stop this feeling!!! I've been gaslighting myself to believe that Zedward doesn't have any responsibility for how I feel, that it's all... » Continue Reading
Been a while since I updated about the silly little things, but I figured keeping a collection of these thoughts might help me for future stories or music I wanna write? So here we go. “You’re one heartbreak closer to finding the one” I'm being so dramatic rea » Continue Reading
I keep putting myself into the most emotionally overwhelming situations humanly possible. I am allowed to be hurt over my crush not liking me back sure whatever I'm kinda over that already. But now I feel guilty because I should at least be a better friend to him. But I'm so tired. On a completely seperate note, I don't think I can put myself through another friendship that will inevitably end. B... » Continue Reading
I am convinced a huge part of this crush is just my brain being bored and projecting every piece of hope I have into to one person. But also why do I overthink my crushes? Like, that' » Continue Reading
I've never been more distracted in my life. I told myself that a big reason I even ended up moving was to pursue a more joy-centered life. But I realized that being joyful has a lot more to do with living in the moment and most people just cannot afford to live that way. I am here to do something very specific which is to practice film and art direction through releasing music and working with oth... » Continue Reading
It is November 8th, 2023. I am 27 years old, and I am sitting at a Dunkin Donuts on Balboa Blvd, vaguely in Encino. She will be loved by Maroon 5 is playing. This dunkin always plays throwback bangers from the 2000s. I think there's a high chance I'll read through this when I am 40 (hopefully this website lasts that long) and I know 40 year old me will get a kick out of this. » Continue Reading
There's a harsh reality that's become more and more apparent to me. And I know it's not ideal and it's not fair and not everyone can do it- but all my most successful friends are the ones who were willing to go through shit to get where they are. The people who were willing (and had the means) to take on unpaid/underpaid internships. The ones who did free work. I am not resilient in the ways I wis... » Continue Reading
9/22/2023: I got my paycheck! The sun is out. It's a new day. I ended yesterday feeling like absolute shit so I'm surprised by how I feel today. I don't want to be too optimistic because things could and does usually tend to spiral downwards. But anyways, yesterday sort of ended on a terrible note for various reasons. A) I booked a studio to record a track, and it wasn't 'till I started recording ... » Continue Reading