post-crush clarity

I think I finally made it out of a rut I didn't even know I was in. I think a lot of it is like post-crush clarity.

That crush really did its BIG ONE on me, that's crazy. It kind fucked my self esteem for a little bit but I feel a lot better now.

It's crazy because I was borderline panicking about the fact I didn't know what to do with myself outside of a crush. It felt like a crutch to make life easier to live through. I was so convinced nothing would motivate me to get through the day without it and yet that wasn't true at all.

I am not at all less motivated to get through the day. Sure it's a little less exciting- and the day does go by a little slower, but everything feels so much clearer.

I got so much inspo with what I want to do in my art and my life. Basically I do feel like I'm strapped into reality. There's so much more than this person. I have so much I can do.