I don't want to be so digestable
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Category: Life
Growing pains sometimes also includes just fucking up. Being inconvenient. Pissing people off. Because every time you do something new, you open yourself up to making mistakes and making a fool of yourself. I want to be honest about my incompetence. I feel like it is important for me to look it in the eye and accept it. It's just as important to not allow it to define me. I am always so forgetful.... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I guess people journal to keep track of what's going on in their lives, and unfortunately I am all too aware of what's going on at all times. I wish I could spend a single second not overthinking but that's really just not who I am. I've been meaning to write down my thoughts recently but I keep forgetting. But today is 9/17/2023 and I am currently in a temporary living situation in Encino. So bro... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Alienation is off the table, it's funny that people in America don't realize we literally are the future people from Wall-E already. The pain and suffering we face is by design. That every minor illness we sprout is money into some suit's pockets. This includes obesity, this includes chronic bitchlessness. I think what would make it a simple conspiracy theory is the believe that evil masterminds c... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I've escaped my parents but now I have to face a whole world that finds me dramatic. Why do I feel like I have to be so devastated all the time. Why do people assume that it's a choice? I don't speak about it to hear my own voice, I speak about it because it hurts and I am crying out and the only solution anyone could find is to tell me it's too much. It's too ridiculous. And I get it. I would sa... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
The way the world works is just so unfair. I have done everything I needed to do, I've tried to plan my life around healthy habits but how can I form any when I can't sleep. How can I wake up? How can I have energy to do anything when I can't ever sleep. I don't have enough time to wind down from work. I don't have enough time to rest before I have to do all of it again. And everyday I feel like i... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
(I cannot be this aware of how autistic I and everyone around me is) » Continue Reading
Category: Life
These thoughts need a home before my brain can't be fucked to think this way. It's a good week for me. I don't know if I would call it mania because I feel like I have been fixated on the right things, eating and exercising well and responsibly has been a priority lately and I am just hoping this motivation doesn't wear off. A lot of this dedication can be credited to my introduction to Bad Omens.... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
I don't think most women really just sit with this thought, and I don't think men will ever understand: the extent of which our bodies are discussed. » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I work in banking and I could not recommend it any less. You deal with people's money all day- their rent, their livelihood. And sometimes I fuck it up. I fuck it up tremendously. Today I was informed that I issued a Money Order for $1,000 when the MO limit is $500. I was told that the old system in the bank had safety nets and would not allow you to create money orders for over the limit's amount... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I think back to the type of person I was as a kid. I was staunchly dogmatic and opinionated. I was super Christian and tried to argue that science was just as unsure (to be fair, I still fully understand that science is primarily theory.) I was just as much of a convincing, loud mouth, fighter and now I just have different beliefs. So I've sort of come to a conclusion that what is true and real so... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I want to preface this by saying that I always felt the mindset of "people suck/people scare me/I'd pick a dog over people" is a massive cope for the fact that individualism has caused people to isolate and alienate themselves from all those around them. People have an inherent need for community, that's how we have all evolved at gotten so far, and modern capitalism really discourages any idea of... » Continue Reading
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
It's definitely ridiculous that I've started this diary now when I've already basically finished the concept and am now just working the details of the script. I'm torn between endings, and I think it's because I can't fully decide what I'm trying to even say. I started off with the idea of making it unapologetically and obnoxiously feminist, and at the end of the day- it is- but I wonder if subtl... » Continue Reading
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