"stressing myself out"
suffering from imposter syndrome and a main character complex
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Category: Blogging
things have been optimistic but utterly disappointing in my absence. - i ended up placing silver at a festival and ostracized in my feedback session instead of given proper feedback. - i tore ligaments in my knee leaving me literally handicapped lol - got rejected from one of my dream schools and now i can't do anything but be blue. :( i keep missing school all over again and now i'm flunking scho... » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
my business finance teacher suddenly hates me and i don't think it's because i'm not doing my work. she didn't care in the past when i would miss homework assignments and stuff but since i've still been getting good grades on tests and quizzes i think i'm making her angry because i'm proving that this class takes zero of my brainpower and i kinda don't belong in the class. and despite never being... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
this show season is so stressful!! one of my student directors has made my life a living hell because i feel like they don’t respect me, don’t want my opinions or really care about me. dawn is always saying passive aggressive comments, disregarding their codirector’s ideas and opinions, and overall just being so bitchy and prissy about everything. they act like they’re the most talented in the co... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
i don’t want to self diagnose but i feel it that maybe something is different about me and it’s not in a good way. when i was five i would spend hours a day copying wikipedia information about my favorite anime characters onto paper so i would have it for reference. i would be stuck for hours thinking about the same interesting thing to me without being able to talk about anything else. i would hy... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
(this is an overshare about mwording so.) i do it too often. i can’t imagine myself being intimate with others but i do it all the time. i hold my breath. i whimper. i whine. i try not to make it obvious to the other side of the wall my brain is exploding as i get really sensitive and i tickle the most hidden part of me. i want to stop it but losing control? not focusing on anything but the sensat... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
it took me a week to crawl back here. this is what happened in that week - two auditions (one was good but i messed up, another one had a bunch of white people creating a savior complex that threw me off and caused me to mess up again) - threw together a talent show in two days (in the past i had two months) - passed my driving test (surprisingly; i had 7 mistakes :() - was also given a bunch of o... » Continue Reading
Category: Music
musical theatre is awesome. i listen to a bunch of indie crap and don't like loud things like raves and concerts but i LOVE musical theatre. i'm gonna ramble about it for like 10 minutes and it'll take you about two minutes to read. some musicals i love: - into the woods. i just love sondheim in general but i love how all of his shows take established ideas and spins them on their heads to adapt ... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
this weekend has turned into an entire blur. which is good! i'm not excited for tomorrow. i know i should be but i don't know... i always feel like i've never prepared enough for these things even though i'm always too exhausted to actually do the work. i'm auditioning for my first college tomorrow, and everything else is butting in on the zen moment i'm trying to create in my mind before everythi... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
i've always felt that my life story was waaaay too interesting yet marketable to the mundane for it not to be a tv show. so why not write about it? i get to tell nobody about my day, and maybe even make it all up so none of you quite know if i'm telling the truth or not. we'll see :) » Continue Reading
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