feeling jaded and lost!!! oh my god!!

i just

i knew this would happen but everything’s kind of quietly falling a part and i feel lost!!!

my friend group with everyone has a lot of quiet wounds that’s made everyone not really close/comfortable with each other anymore and i just don’t feel happy with them anymore so i don’t want to talk to them

and ofc sage is never available to talk to so i don’t want to trust her because she’s always off with natalee or her bf anyways and i know it’s not worth burdening her w my concerns

i miss college but i also know living with my roommates is gonna be shit since they’re all slobs

speaking of slobs! my brothers are all slobs and they leave their mess for my mother to clean but my parents are gone for the weekend so the crap is just gonna pile up

and it makes me so fucking mad because some of them are pushing 30! fucking clean up! even the ones who are younger are in high school you should know to clean up already!

so it’s just me. hiding in the living room from the mess outside and stuck with the mess within.

i shouldn’t have to pick up after them. but i know none of them are capable of cleaning

so i wonder how i could hold it against them 

like i wish i could make them pay me to get into the kitchen and they wouldn’t be allowed to use anything in there if they won’t clean it up after

i just 

i’m really tired

and i’m a slob too maybe.