"stressing myself out"
suffering from imposter syndrome and a main character complex
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SpaceHey Blog URL:
https://blog.spacehey.com/tangerinetrap
Category: Blogging
I HATE THAT I AM SO BAD AT SO MANY THINGS!!! but also I am paying THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS for my school to TEACH ME HOW TO BE BETTER AT SAID THINGS SO I HAVE TO GIVE MYSELF GRACEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE UGHHHHHH IT ALSO DOESN'T HELP THAT MY PEERS ARE SO HYPERCOMPETITIVE AND THEY ALL HAVE EGOS THE SIZE OF THE WORLD TRADE CENTER I just need to do my best. I'm already in the program! i just have to put effort in... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
linnea tried starting a confrontation w me and i just completely shut down so hopefully she will leave me alone my boss and i follow each other on ig now and i hope we do something before i leave! bc i think he bewitched me or smt bc i'm lowk obsessed now LOL i'm moving to nyc in 11 days. i'm so stoked and so terrified. i need to pack i gave my mom a build a bear that has me singing a lullaby as a... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
he is very cute (*´；ェ；`*) and he is only three years older than me BUT like obviously he is my boss. so how tf am i meant to like shoot my shot that is so embarassing but ik he thinks i am also cute fr. like i could be tripping bc obviously boss watches you do your job but he spent alot more time looking at me than my other coworkers and rather than watching me work he would like be looking in » Continue Reading
Category: Life
yesterday i went to a funeral for a lady that was 100 before she died (idk i just thought that was cool to mention and at the funeral i guess someone was watching a video of her because over the funeral home's speakers we all hear "my grandson... i love you so much! i miss you forever, i can't wait for you to come home..." mushy stuff like that but My first reaction was that she had risen from the... » Continue Reading
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
it’s just a parttime job for the summer and i’m literally still in training so. and like he has not like tried to rizz me up or have been actual power struggle weird (thank god and hope it stays that way) so it could just all be in my head but he like is always watching me during trainings and stuff and he will always lock eyes with me for the entirety of activities he leads (which if anything m... » Continue Reading
Category: Art and Photography
my friends were stupid and while we were working on promo stuff for a show they made us become a canva team. i thought i could just delete the team. instead i deleted my ENTIRE ACCOUTN AFSAdsgnjksfsdhgnbkjg years of work down the drain.... all my designs..... so sad » Continue Reading
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
am i spread too thin? i just finished mounting a full length team written production of comedy sketches. with me doing rhe bulk of the work (luckily w the help of my peers) and i won a bunch of awards for the work i do! my english teacher signed my yearbook saying “i am a leader” and that he knows i’ll go far. i just did a presentation in his class last thursday that he said was one of the best pr... » Continue Reading
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
am i spread too thin? i just finished mounting a full length team written production of comedy sketches. with me doing rhe bulk of the work (luckily w the help of my peers) and i won a bunch of awards for the work i do! my english teacher signed my yearbook saying “i am a leader” and that he knows i’ll go far. i just did a presentation in his class last thursday that he said was one of the best pr... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
a new chapter i have around like 7 days of high school left in my whole life and idk what to feel remember when i felt super dejected about not getting in anywhere for college? i got in somewhere. and committed there. it's so painful waiting for delayed gratification but it makes the victories that much sweeter i missed out on a huge opportunity to go back to nyc because everyone got covid in my t... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
maybe i'm autistic but i have hyperfixated on the idea of making my own ron weasley sweater (you know the ones that molly makes for the boys with the initials on them yeah) and i don't want to do theatre right now LOL linnea is being prissy and saying they will cut a scene we just blocked from a preview performance because i'm out sick today and it seems like they're trying to make me feel guilty ... » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
sigh in case you were wondering: I DIDN'T GET INTO A SINGLE COLLEGE FOR MUSICAL THEATRE! i'm feeling dumb i'm feeling like i should have applied to more schools applied to more extracurriculars/scholarships applied myself more. something i don't know how this happened really. i don't know what to do next i could say fuck it b » Continue Reading
— 1 Comment— 2 Kudos
Category: Blogging
my school fucking blows i want to go home nobody even likes me here i would rather play fucking video games or something more mentally stimulating than this place. » Continue Reading
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