a guilt 2,836 miles wide

how can i look my family in the eye and say i want to leave them and go home?

i miss them. so much. and they’re here in the city and i’ve wanted NOTHING MORE than to show them the love i have for this city. so why is their presence here tearing me apart? 

yesterday after class, i was walking to their airbnb and i bought boba for my little brothers and i and it just made me so sad i miss going home to my family i don’t know why it’s been so easy just walking around alone but being reminded of what i lost by leaving them behind just makes me want to do nothing and stay in the same room as them forever 

how can i leave my family to go see my bed how can i reject my mother and want to go “home” how can i see my family and only be visiting now and not be a resident of my former home how do i spend the rest of my life knowing i’ve already spent 90% of the time i have with my parents.

i miss my mom and dad.