francis, fran

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"coping with existence"

he/they/is/ought

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17) breaking points?

Category: Life

i wonder if i'll ever hit some sort of breaking point some sort of maximum capacity for all of this which forces an adverse reaction  or dramatic change or if it the suffering just keeps layering over itself like piling sediment no sign of ending, just getting worse and worse this sounds like the more accurate description to me. » Continue Reading

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1 Comment— 7 Kudos

walking vocoder demo

Category: Life

hello spaceheyers, i spent some time today trying to become a walking vocoder needless to say, i accomplished this feat check out my singing (?) if you'd like. you kinda need to see the video to know what i'm saying, but here's how the rig works: the microphone is taped inside a reusable face mask (which also helps to prevent feedback) the mic c » Continue Reading

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6 Comments— 17 Kudos

OUTFIT (1)

Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping

new year's resolution 1: learn to hardstyle dance new year's resolution 2: dress more like me  - the outfit - necklace i made with a metal grape coat hanger i found on the street brown scapular (those who know) my lab safety glasses amazon wig burlington's striped sweater  burlington's jacket black pleated skirt over charcoal slacks black laced dress shoes  - pictures - » Continue Reading

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2 Comments— 7 Kudos

16) comfortable states as sources of weakness

Category: Life

i have accumulated places to hide in the face of change a space like this or a space like someone else's life or a space like intoxication or unconsciousness with all these escapades i suddenly become very reluctant to face a perceived struggle enough of this... i will do my homework now - thoughts at the end of a winter break [UPDATE] didn't do any of my late work instead ended » Continue Reading

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15) anxiety

Category: Life

woke up fidgety and anxious over every silly thought i sifted through and dismissed them all with the power of basic reasoning, but that didn't really stop the adrenaline drip which my brain had prescribed me. i tried sitting and thinking about something i wanted to do, but nothing manifested because i was so occupied with this lurking fear of everything. spent the day with half of myself dipped i... » Continue Reading

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pretty rave girl dance (WIP)

Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

heeeeyyy soo... i was thinking about this one video i was obsessed with last year and then i realized that there's an array of early youtube videos of people dancing to the same nightcore track and i was like, this is awesome, i have to contribute my own. so i did. annnnd i showed the binder clip i used to make my shirt fit. kind of embarrassing but maybe it's a funny d » Continue Reading

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my thoughts on ACAB and the police force

Category: News and Politics

tl;dr not all cops are bad people. but the police force as a whole only has one tool: force. most of the issues ("crime") cops deal with cannot be solved with force... their cause lies in systemic racism thereby perpetuating systemic racism. also, it is easy to become a cop for the wrong reasons, or with misconstrued notions of power and justice, or with heavy prejudices. being paid 6 figures to w... » Continue Reading

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3 Comments— 6 Kudos

14) day in the life, abstracted

Category: Life

here is an attempt to extract the essence of my life and put it into words: i wake up. i confront the immense reluctance born from all the days before this one. i move through the day minute by minute, action by action, decision by decision, hit by hit. i prefer to call this 'existence'. it is the bare minimum » Continue Reading

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poem // francisian riddle

Category: Writing and Poetry

a world came to me, bewildering another whispered strata in my ear i made decisions there i was: consequences here i am: arithmetic i make a decision. question: what have i done? answer: i am still finding out 12/23/24 this poem was an attempt at abstracting: i exist in multiple environments. they each beckon » Continue Reading

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2 Comments— 7 Kudos

desk sculpture(s)

Category: Art and Photography

hey!! i made some sculptures using school desks. i made a video about it, which you can go watch here if you'd like. see pictures below... » Continue Reading

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13) better off alone

Category: Life

depression rising again indecision and poor decisions making a return... everyone around me is loud and happy and social and normal it feels like i don't belong. or like something changed about me and only me rendering me as alien... i cannot help but feel so mad at everyone i see i want to scream and release everything in a climactic fit because i think that's the only way people will un » Continue Reading

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12) repeating mistakes

Category: Life

common error: "it's okay, this time will be different from usual" it amuses me how easily i repeat mistakes or rather, how quickly i forget the pain of their consequences » Continue Reading

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