"coping with existence"
he/they/is/ought
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https://blog.spacehey.com/francissoundworks
— 4 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
a world came to me, bewildering another whispered strata in my ear i made decisions there i was: consequences here i am: arithmetic i make a decision. question: what have i done? answer: i am still finding out 12/23/24 this poem was an attempt at abstracting: i exist in multiple environments. they each beckon » Continue Reading
— 2 Comments— 7 Kudos
Category: Art and Photography
hey!! i made some sculptures using school desks. i made a video about it, which you can go watch here if you'd like. see pictures below... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
depression rising again indecision and poor decisions making a return... everyone around me is loud and happy and social and normal it feels like i don't belong. or like something changed about me and only me rendering me as alien... i cannot help but feel so mad at everyone i see i want to scream and release everything in a climactic fit because i think that's the only way people will un » Continue Reading
— 3 Kudos
Category: Life
common error: "it's okay, this time will be different from usual" it amuses me how easily i repeat mistakes or rather, how quickly i forget the pain of their consequences » Continue Reading
— 1 Comment— 4 Kudos
Category: Life
12/12/24 loss of structure structure is lost splurge regulate excess (develop structure) conditions change structure is lost maybe what i need is a meta-structure... like a proceduralized way to modify/restart/give up existing structures in the face of shifting conditi » Continue Reading
— 1 Comment— 5 Kudos
Category: Life
[edit:] what the fuck am i talking about??? is any of this relevant or just an attempt to cope with emotions? [edit 2:] i think i'm just bad at handling crushes. tl;dr i struggle to control my own thoughts and perceptions of people i find attractive; i become infatuated with them as objects of beauty, kind of in a parasocial or weird way, but not necessarily in a sexual way. i didn't think i was t... » Continue Reading
— 1 Comment— 5 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
my eyes: two desert roaches lying supine in hot sand undying legs sprawling from two burning sockets my hands: two spiders weaving webs over breezeways where thoughts travel gluttonous legs addicted to their silk my body: a helpless beetle my mind: a burnt moth » Continue Reading
— 4 Comments— 5 Kudos
Category: Life
tl;dr: i face down existential misery by acknowledging the nature of thought, namely the tendency to use human-invented descriptions ("size," "significance") to evaluate ourselves. [edit] note: knowing intellectually that things are a certain way or that it's impossible to know something does not invalidate such feelings. we are human. this comes with baggage. there is no reason to be hyper-ration... » Continue Reading
— 1 Comment— 5 Kudos
Category: Life
hello, there are many joys i partake in which do not last like playing videogames or taking naps or sitting outside and idly soaking in the environment i love these things and yet... i cannot allow ambient joy to exist in my life not yet, at least not while i'm so rushed for time and for actions and decisions. - francis t. edited 12/9/24 » Continue Reading
— 3 Kudos
Category: Life
i am trying to "seize the day" by grinding through it with as much productivity, effort, and mindfulness possible... yet i've still been misusing time not really wasting it, just using it for one thing when i should be doing another "this is not a waste of time, but it takes away from better uses of time" i hate that concept it feels restraining but i guess true freedom is having the self control ... » Continue Reading
— 4 Comments— 9 Kudos
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
i've heard an interesting story of a man who trains a mountain climber by dropping him off of a 2000 foot tall ice cliff with nothing but an ice pick and telling him to save himself. he does this repeatedly and with progressive difficulty, such as by saying, "you have to go down headfirst for the first 20 seconds and only in the last 5 seconds can you save yourself." the story is quite idyllic so ... » Continue Reading
— 8 Comments— 17 Kudos
Category: Life
so i've saved SpaceHey's Random Profile Button on my bookmarks bar and have been fiendishly sifting through profile after profile. but it seems like most of the profiles i'm getting are new people or people who made a cool profile and then didn't post anything. also a lot of 14 y/o emo / goth aesthetics. so... not very productive. then i looked on blogs and sorted by recent... holy SHIT th » Continue Reading
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