"writing/thinking/studying"
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Category: Life
just started attending sessions two months ago. the whole thing has been surprisingly cathartic. i say surprising because i honestly didnt expect any effects to manifest so soon for me. my anxiety has been crippling since 2019 and id only started rebuilding my confidence way back 2022 only for my progress to hit a road block in 2023. so for this much progress to happen within a few months when it ... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
it makes me so angry not knowing whats going on in my head. its unfair how clear my thoughts are on some things but then for the rest its blink and youll miss it. why the fuck should i miss it? theyre my thoughts. why cant i find them where i think they should be? why arent they where i can see them? then theres the people. god the people. people who ask people who want to know people who think th... » Continue Reading
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
i am in shambles. i dont think ill ever find something as good as attack on titan. it fking raised me. the soundtrack, the characters, the plot, the twists, the animation, the design, everything. so so good. genuinely wish it couldve ran for much longer. the ending was perfect. the perfectness was amplified by the changes made in the anime from the manga. heres to seven years worth of fixating and... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
eights months later and i think ive become a bit more sane. the brainrot is still rotting. one piece is my latest fixation. ive bought four figurines within the five days ive known of the show after finishing the live action. idk when ill start the anime. maybe next yr. the summer break definitely did me good. went to a convention with my friends. that was fun. bled my wallet dry. i could make a c... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
The crying bouts came back. But now I think they've become worse. A few minutes ago I was just sitting in my chair scrolling through my phone when I suddenly had the urge to cry. So, I did. I knew I had to get stuff like that out of my system. The strange part for me was it just stopped. The feeling went away as quick as it came. It was weird. I don't know if I should get checked up. I've been mor... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
New Year wasn't that grand for me, though I was happy to be around my family during the first week of 2023. I'm glad I met up with my friends before one of them flew back to the US. I've published a book on AO3 and it turned out to be one of my most popular on-going works. I like writing it. The semester is about to start soon, so I'm trying to do whatever I want while I still have a few days. Kin... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Nostalgia is such a fucking cunt sometimes. The smell of mango reminds me of summers spent in the sun as a child, the sight of my aunt's house reminds me of the calm and peaceful days I spent while staying there, a song reminds me of my last years in junior high and how exhilirating they were, and the taste of a certain flavor of frappe reminds me of when I used to go out with my friends before th... » Continue Reading
Category: School, College, University
"Wellness week". What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear those two words? Wellness for a week. Rest for a week. No classes for a week. No school stuff to think about for a week. Well, in this case at least one of them checks out. I have no problem with asynchronous classes with school stuff to do. Absolutely none. Partly because I'm used to it and partly because, well, what can you... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
This is apparently what I've been doing a lot since junior high school. I just discovered what it's called recently but only got around to writing about it now. I always just thought that it was a severe case of daydreaming but evidently it's actually called maladaptive. It's also one of the major causes of the crying occurrences that I talked about in a previous blog. It's just so interesting to ... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I want to start this by saying that I know everybody has their own experiences with grief. I ust want to talk about mine. It's such a strange phenomenon and huge pain in the ass. I hate it. I love it. I know it helps me ad I know it fucks up my mental health. It's the double-edged sword of all double-edged swords so far in my life. I feel like I'm in a different timeline; before and after grief ha... » Continue Reading
Category: School, College, University
Last semester has ruined leadership for me. The idea of groupings and the chance of me taking the reins of my group again is fucking with my head so much that my heart races at the mere thought of it. After all the stress, all the anxiety, and all the heartbreak, I just can't take it anymore. It was such a drain on the mind and heart that I couldn't even completely enjoy my break. Though, I'd dis... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
It's as the title suggests. Three weeks ago, one of my cats got lost. For context, my family has seven and she was one of the first generations in our family. We loved her to bits. But she got lost and was never able to go back home, though we do suspect that she made the effort. She was blind, so it was a very very massive effort. Just yesterday, we received word that one of the residents of the ... » Continue Reading
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