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Nostalgia is such a fucking cunt sometimes. The smell of mango reminds me of summers spent in the sun as a child, the sight of my aunt's house reminds me of the calm and peaceful days I spent while staying there, a song reminds me of my last years in junior high and how exhilirating they were, and the taste of a certain flavor of frappe reminds me of when I used to go out with my friends before the pandemic.
In the same vain, songs could remind me of awful experiences. A certain song can remind me of a time in my life that I never want to go back to but regret heavily. A taste can bring back a myriad of conversations I don't know if I'm ready to face again just yet. A sight can bring me back in time to when I first saw it and how badly I felt while looking at it.
It's awful. It's like a bad joke. Because no matter how awful some of these instances were, nostalgia would make me believe that I'd rather be sent back in time to that moment for a number of reasons. To not say the things I said or do the things I did. It makes me believe that whatever I faced then was nothing compared to what I was going through now, so I might just want to go back to that moment in time instead of stay here, where I am.
Very, very bad joke.
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Cranky Old Witch
Just like those times were temporary, so too are these moments now.
Small solace when you're in 'some kind of way' about things, but things change. They always do.
For good or for ill will be PARTLY in your control at least. Make your vows, do the things you need to, and remember that no matter how carefully your draft your map for the future, you have to go back and edit frequently.
Rise up! Today and tomorrow are YOURS