Hi! So I actually had a good day for once. Seriously though. Few can say they've seen it all. Maybe you haven't seen a football game in person. Or a concert. Or maybe you want to get up and see the classroom you learned in, from the place of a teacher. Maybe the only thing driving you right now is to one day see all your peers and speak from a podium. You haven't seen every park. Every pool. Every... » Continue Reading
i wish i could be better i think i'm so disconnected from everything that my brain is trying to explode or something and being mean to myself doesn't make it any better i'm really sorry. sorry. i hope you can find it in you to forgive me because i can't ever seem to forgive myself i'll forget but i won't forgive and i hate myself because of it. i'm sorry.... i just want to let it linger, i want to... » Continue Reading
NOTHING is good enough nothing makes me feel good and i stay in my shitty house and i look out the window and i see the people and the clouds and the joy and i can't even step outside this shitty shitty shitty shitty life i fucking hate my life oh my god i hate my life and i hate every aspect of this there is not one part of my life that is actually good and that's why that's why. UGH OH MY GOD T... » Continue Reading
Tight, pushing, aching Something in my throat, in my lungs Begging to escape Pounding on the walls of my trachea So I try to breathe Sharp, heavy, deep breaths Sucking in all the air, but it's never enough It's never enough for me Taking all there is, and it just makes me dizzy It makes me so dizzy It makes the walls twist and warp, and I fall over from it all I just want » Continue Reading
Warping warping warping Pulsing pulsing pulsing Twisting twisting twisting it's all distorting, it's all pushing around me, when i blink and blink and move my hands in front of my eyes, it just won't go away. it's fuzzy, it's interesting. it's interesting. years of shadows and shadow men and shadow bugs and seeing things in shadows but now my whole world is distorting, and it's not just me play... » Continue Reading
WOE IS ME!!! HOW WILL I HEM AND HAW WISTFULLY ABOUT MY ISSUES NOW i mean it's back now bUT I WAS REALLY STRESSING FOR A BIT THERE (my notepad does not exist apparently) » Continue Reading
This pantry is full of ingredients. Apples, oranges, milk, and butter. Flour, uncooked spaghetti. Vegetables that have all been long forgotten, emitting a pungent rotten smell. Individual ingredients, no way for me to make a proper meal. I can eat just enough to get by, but most days there's only food that's mediocre- or worse. And on the rare occasion she sticks around to make dinner, by the time... » Continue Reading
I go out once in a blue. Take the bus to a station. The bus lowers down, and these sickly obese people walk on. They bought groceries. They pile on one by one, scootering into the priority seating near the front. And when the bus starts up again, I hear them through my headphones. A student sits across from me. I want to give her a compliment. Her hair looks nice. I sit right by the exit door, an... » Continue Reading
I think I'm fading. I'm phasing out, I'm disappearing from everyone's lives. Reminiscent of old times. I think of all the people I had the chance to come across. Do they ever think of me? Those I was close with. My best friends, my worst enemies, do they ever think of me? After I stopped attending my classes, did they just forget? Or did they worry about me? I'm fading out of life. » Continue Reading
I am in love with my ability, my capability to do anything. I think everyone is capable of anything, and if you can think of something, surely it's tangible one way or another. I have so many options; Med school. Road trip. Burnout. I could resign myself to my fate. I could move to a new city. I can cut off everyone I hate. I can free myself from this life I despise. I ca » Continue Reading
i cried, i couldn't stop crying, hot heavy tears streaming down my face shaking, practically convulsing trying not to make a sound. sharp inhales, sniffling all the snot back up my nose on that couch. right there in the living room. i shook, and cried, and you did nothing you just tried to reprimand him. you tried to teach him a lesson. and after snarling and blurting out angst-fi » Continue Reading
Echoing, ringing, screaming, buzzing, repeating endlessly in my mind. Like a soundboard, clicking on individual insults you hurled at me the second it crosses my line of thought. Or rather, like a warzone, a warzone in my head, and all I hear are the shrieks of the soldiers that have been gunned down. You respect our mom. You respect your girlfriend. In fact, you can respect all women. But I'm the... » Continue Reading
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