Going out with you today felt somewhat odd, I didn't know what to speak and what to do for the most part, even if we've known each other for more than a year now– we know each other, don't we? At our spot, I suppose, I was really cold, like it was November again and it snowed the first time, and we were both so awkward, not knowing anything– back when things were new. I felt like I couldn't look a... » Continue Reading
This story is not about me only, sure, i suffer from anxiety i guess, but most individuals do and whatever, still bad; lately i think i was better with it since my main cause is school, and i'm still in summer break, but i had a few episodes. Yesterday my mom called me while i was out in the city and told me not to panic or something, because she is going to the hospital. Pause. What-?? She doesn... » Continue Reading
Today I got 2 nd place in my class, for this school year— I am happy, I can’t complain about it, it’s the best I ever did in school up to this point, even if a few weeks ago I was thinking I’d get 1 st place, I was wrong. I was disappointed when I found out I was 2 nd , not only because of that, but also I tied with 5 other people—basically, that’s the most popular place you could get, mathematica... » Continue Reading
I hope i'm not fucking melodramatic as i am most of the time, but, as i almost each time mention in my damn blogs, i spiraled back in time– i feel like each time i'm quite at peace something so bad happens that i'm down for much more time than i was happy, and that makes me so frustrated– can't i just get what i want and overcome the past? Can i for once not make a fool of myself? I think i'm a s... » Continue Reading
Tomorrow i have a history test, supposedly, and i should be studying for it, but i am not(yet). I was so happy and at peace for the last two days that i feel like i'm gonna fuck up my whole mood with learning history. Yesterday i went to my friend's birthday party at his house-- it was sort of a house party i guess. Me and my boyfriend got him a turtle and all he needed to take care of it, since i... » Continue Reading
So, basically, the dream I wrote about in my last entry happened today in a way or another- I barely talked with that person, but to be fair I didn't really talk with anyone cause I had a bad day in general. I got a grade that I didn't like in fucking LATIN class, and my stomach hert like hell, so i had to shit AT SCHOOL and i felt like i shat my whole life out of me in 5 minutes. Fun. Last night... » Continue Reading
This shit is gonna be devided into two parts because i don't wanna write two separate blogs for something so shitty. Last night I had a dream that was strange as hell, as all my dreams are, but this was some new stuff. I woke up in my room, all normal, but something felt uneasy— I looked at the walls as i do and just stared at the pictures that i hung there.(fyi, i have photos with my friends and ... » Continue Reading
I've been writing a lot lately to be completely honest, and i find myself grabbing my notebook and writing down ideas or phrases that don't make sense at all after a good night's sleep. Today I started reading a book, but it isn't just a book for me, it is more than that. Well, it's '1984' by Orwell— quite well-known book but whatever. Even if I consider it valuable just because of its contents (y... » Continue Reading
Now that spring came around, and I can finally breathe iresh air and think of anything but my problems. The problem with that is that each year I tell mysself the same thing and I never do it-- hate that I'm such a phoney. It doesn't make sense at all. Maybe I've changed too, I mean, I certainly have, but 1 don't think it's anything notable, am I even worthy of change? You know how flowers bloom ... » Continue Reading
I hate psychology class. That's it, for short. It's not like the teacher is insufferable or that the class itself is hard to comprehend or whatever, it's about those classes where she asks us about our values and traits or bullshit like that. Mostly, I stare at the paper and write down random things that cone to mind, but I don't belive in them-- I'm not like that. But how am I? I don't know, tha... » Continue Reading
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