Trees and nature

Now that spring came around, and I can finally breathe iresh air and think of anything but my problems. The problem with that is that each year I tell mysself the same thing and I never do it-- hate that I'm such a phoney. It doesn't make sense at all.

 Maybe I've changed too, I mean, I certainly have, but 1 don't think it's anything notable, am I even worthy of change? You know how flowers bloom around this time, then the flowers turn into fruits, then, later on, the trees loose their leaves, and naturally come back to life after winter. Well, why can't a human's life be the same? Everything is a loop, isn't it?

 I circle back to bad feelings once in a while, but I could say the same thing about the better feelings, it's a cycle that repeats itself, naturally- why would I worry about it, then?

 Some years ago, I used to write poems about a tree that's somewhere around my neighbourhood- a liliac tree.(to this day, I have absolutely no idea where they are, and maybe it's better that they are lost) I'd write those as if I were the tree, and most of the time I'd compare my feeling with how the tree 'feels' in certain seasons, and thinking about it now, 1 have no idea how I managed to write that, and find so many similarities between the human being and nature

 Maybe I should try and rewrite them, well, more like take the idea and rethink it whole-| couldn't write the same thing twice

 I wish I'd die in the middle of a forest, or a field of some sorts, next to a tree, I'd decompose next to it and become one with the dirt, and bugs would eat me- pretty grotesque, isn't it? I think this is the closest to the nature I could ever be.

 I can picture it, my death in nature, I'd lay there on the grass that was a little damp, and wind would make the trees' branches and leaves move around a lot, creating this somber symphony. The sky would get cloudy and it'd start pouring, to the point I'd be in a freezing puddle of water, but I wouldn't feel a thing because I'd be one with nature

 So selfish of me to think that my death would move a forest, isn't it? I have no idea what i just wrote