i forgot that this was the whole point

Tomorrow i have a history test, supposedly, and i should be studying for it, but i am not(yet). I was so happy and at peace for the last two days that i feel like i'm gonna fuck up my whole mood with learning history.

Yesterday i went to my friend's birthday party at his house-- it was sort of a house party i guess. Me and my boyfriend got him a turtle and all he needed to take care of it, since it was kind of his biggest wish to have a pet tortoise. His name is Rocky, by the way. My friend was very happy about it, and he thanked us a lot. 

The party itself was pretty fun-- even one of my classmates(that i'm very good friends with) was there, and we played games and made pizza together and other 13 year old stuff, but we smoked and drank. One of the girls had a bit too much to drink and she hit her head at one point and we had to run to the bus to get home. It was kinda fun. 

After we got back in town, at like 9PM or something, my bf and i went to his house since his mom won't be in the country for a week. I ate something, we played with his cat, listened to some music, shit like that. I was tired. We had a good time at his house, to be fair. For most of the night i slept on the right side of the bed, next to the wall, after we cuddled and all. I think the sun was rising, not sure, especially that i didn't have my phone near and my bf's curains are not at all see-through, but I had a feeling it was around 6AM, i felt his quite warm hand on my back, and i think he placed a kiss on the back of my neck-- i found it so beautiful. I smiled and slightly woke up, then said something that i can't remember at all, and fell back asleep.

His cat was sitting on our left, and she peacefully slept as well, beside us (well, not really, i think my bf fed her at one point, but i was very much asleep and didn't hear a thing). I remember him talking in a raspy voice that calmed me even more-- i forgot about everyhting else, nothing mattered. 

Exactly a year before, my bf and i met at the same friend's birthday party. We didn't have any romantic feelings towards each other for a bit, so if i were to travel 365 days in the past, and i'd tell my 16 year old self about last night, she  probably wouldn't belive it, but she'd would be happy. 

I find it quite interesting that time passing can be perceived in so many different ways-- i'm happy this year passed so quickly, and that may 2025 found me in such a good place in comparison to may 2024; i'm glad it went away. In contrast, I wish last night would've never ended, I wish time stopped for me. 

Today, after i left my bf's apartment, i listened to some music on my way back home. I completely forgot what tunes i listened to, but the feeling i had stuck with me. I felt so alive and so effervescent-- it was drizzling, and i felt every droplet of water falling on my face. At home i continued listening to some random music and just smiled. I felt pretty and warm and ful of life.

Nevermind, I can't finish this blog because my mom came home and shouted at me because i wasn't studying or something; fuck my life.