mannnn all my friends are asleep rn and i have no one to talk to and no one to distract me from my steadily declining mental state. that sucks i think. the only person online is my abusive ass ex boyfriend so that sucks! there is literally nothing to do. i mean like. i have songs to work on. i have assignments to finish. but still, would rather do LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE RAHHHHH » Continue Reading
im in so much fucking pain right now and nobody knows or cares. everything is terrible. everything feels terrible. my friends don’t like me anymore. my sense of self is eroded as fuck. nobody likes it when i try to talk to them because they only ever see me as annoying. i only ever feel alone, despite having so many people to talk to. but no amount of comfort is ever enough unless it’s from my fp.... » Continue Reading
i might actually fucking kms if my fp doesn’t have AT LEAST a short conversation with me tomorrow, they never talk to me, at most we only exchange looks, this isn’t fair this isn’t fair THIS ISNT FAIR ^_^ why did i get attached to someone so quick mannnnnnn. this sucks. they do not deserve me. THEY DONT EVEN KNOW THEYRE MY FP, WE BARELY FUCKING KNOW EACH OTHER, AT MOST THEY PROBABLY THINK I HAVE A... » Continue Reading
happy new year!!!!! it’s been a while!! i remember getting really into blogging here awhile ago until i forgor about it ^_^ i’ve been rereading my old entries and HOLY SHIT IM SO FUCKING EDGY WHY AM I LIKE THAT- not that i’m gonna delete them tho. i mean that’s probably a good idea. idk why im posting this publicly, i should probably keep my thoughts to myself. its good for archiving purposes ig.... » Continue Reading
so hi! i wrote this lil vent on tuesday but i never finished it or posted it so up. i’m doing that now, like two days later. it was originally gonna be part of the rambling series but it’s a lot longer lol. this one’s a bit heavy, but just so you know i’m doing like. kinda better now. idk i still wish my fp cared. here’s the original blog: im not adding the whatchamacallit rambling counter. i’m j... » Continue Reading
who wants to take a wild, WILD guess if my fp talked to me today? if you guess that they didn’t, you’d be right! congratulations!!!!!! i’ve been feeling numb the more and more i wish they would. bc i’m not even anger more, i’m just kind of hopeless. they always seem to talk last-second. like. on the last day of my last school year, they actually talked to me for once and i gave them muffins lmao.... » Continue Reading
ok this is a really weird story - today my friends were hangin out at lunch, and there’s this one table on our campus we like to sit at. and at the table there was this plastic water bottle filled with some sorta blue liquid??? and it just had a paper with the word “weezer” on it. and obviously my neurodivergent ass found this as a funny lil weezer reference, so i showed my friends and i was like ... » Continue Reading
i don’t think anyone genuinely, whole heartedly likes or liked school. it’s a pretty normal thing to hate, no matter what age you are. so i don’t think my struggles here are completely unheard of. but like… damn, sitting in the same chair for an hour and a half while listening to a lecture and not having the attention span to take notes is uhm. not fun. but as if that wasn’t bad enough, i’m curre... » Continue Reading
im not gonna bother making this all drawn out. guess what? they haven’t talked to me! and at this point, i don’t think they ever will!!! this is hell i just wanna get over my fp already bc they’re never gonna care abt me. i doubt they feel the same way i do abt them. they probably hate my guts. i wouldn’t blame them. i’ll do anything. i’ll do fucking anything. JUST TALK TI ME GODDAMIT. PLEASE. ple... » Continue Reading
the good news is i don’t have much to complain abt today, cuz sundays are boring and i actually feel ok now for once??? ikr shocker. the bad news is i got shampoo in my eye and got extremely upset abt it bc my emotions are a mouthful. what’s wrong with me. ^_^ ok but in all seriousness- i don’t wanna wake up when i fall asleep anymore. especially since tomorrows a monday. i know it’s cliche but mo... » Continue Reading
I DONT UNDERSTAND. WHAT AM I DOING WRONG? WHY DONT THEY LIKE ME, IM TRYING SO HARD, IM LITERALLY PRAYING THAT EVENTUALLY THEYLL GIVE A SHIT, WHY DID I GET SO ATTACHED TO YOU. I WISH YOU WERE JUST A FUCKING STRANGER TO ME, LIKE I AM TO YOU. BUT YOU ARE LITERALLY EVERYTHING TO ME. ITS NOT FAIR. ITS NOT FAIR, WHY CANT WE BE FRIENDS OR AT LEAST TALK TO EACH OTHER? WHY CANT YOU PAY ATTENTION TO ME PLEA... » Continue Reading