thing i wrote on tuesday i forgot to finish

so hi! i wrote this lil vent on tuesday but i never finished it or posted it so up. i’m doing that now, like two days later. it was originally gonna be part of the rambling series but it’s a lot longer lol. 

this one’s a bit heavy, but just so you know i’m doing like. kinda better now. idk i still wish my fp cared. here’s the original blog:

im not adding the whatchamacallit rambling counter. i’m just fucking done. this is hell. they don’t care about me. nobody cares abt me. best friend is the only one who genuinely does and they’re online, and we’ve never met irl, and i just don’t get to see them often. i don’t want to abandon them. i really don’t wanna leave them alone bc they don’t deserve that, they’re such a good person, they’ve been through enough, i don’t wanna let them down. and plus i don’t want them to end up killing themselves, too. and i mean, i have friends irl too, but i don’t contribute much to their lives. they probably wouldn’t care. my peers wouldn’t care. my teachers would be like “thank god that bitch is dead”. none of you would care. you’re just gonna read this and forget about it in a few hours. and then there’s my fp. god i wish they meant nothing to me. i wish i could just get over them already. THEY DO NOT CARE. THEY BARELY TALK TO ME AND THEY COULD CARE LESS IF I WAS GOING THROUGH SHIT. I JUST WANTED TO BE THEIR FRIEND BUT HOLY SHIT. THEY JUST DIDNT FUCKING CARE! 

NOBODY CARES. IF I KMS THE WORLD WILL JUST KEEP ON SPINNING. BAD PEOPLE WILL KEEP DOING BAD THINGS. NO ONES GONNA CARE. AND WHAT IF I DONT?!?! THEYLL CARE LESS IF I JUST HAD A NENTAL BREAKDOWN. THEYLL REALIZE IM JUST A PATHETIC KID WITH NOTHING TO OFFER AND NO PERSONALITY AND OVERALL NOTHINGNESS. I FEEL LIKE SUCH A FUCKING ATTENTION WHORE WHY DOES NO ONE CARE ABT ME??? NO ONE CARED WHEN I TRIED TO KILL MYSELF. HELL, MOST OF THEM DONT EVEN KNOW IT HAPPENED. NO ONE CARED WHEN I CAME OUT ABT MY EX ABUSING ME. I GOT SEXUALLY HARASSED AND ASSAULTED AND CONTROLLED, AND NO ONE CARED ABT HOW MUCH HE HURT ME!! HE GOT AWAY WITH EVERYTHING!!!! EVERYTHING!!!!!

(ok that’s it)