09/04/24 It's been now 8/9 years now that I struggle with eating disorders. I never been other than overweight all my life, hell began when I got bullied at school for my apparence, so since elementary school. My family never helped, on the contrary they awlays contribued to make me feel the worst about this. For studies reasons, I'm currently still living with them. Normally, I have 3/5 months le... » Continue Reading
Summary : Fuck I couldn't make my workout today and yesterday either due to my fucked up sleep schedule + living with the same fucking people not living me the fuck alone to exercise properly. I'm so upset, my efforts are always crushed down by few days of non activity. It's only starting to work, and still I can't have a stable routine to continue my progress. I'm so annoyed damn... » Continue Reading
Summary : restarted my usual 1h work out, but added a 15min one today : abs, arms, legs x 2, face (mainly to relax). Current : LIV vs ugw XLI Nutrition of the day : I ate a lot, and didn't manage to oppose myself to certain dangerous foods. So I'm disappointed again » Continue Reading
Summary : I starved from yesterday night to 6pm today (because I couldn't hide my fasting to others), but it's no use : I ate shit from 6pm until now 10pm. Because of health issues I can't push myself to make my workout... I feel like shit. I got a breakdown too, I cried a lot for various reasons. I'm having serious conversations with my friend, about our relationship, identity issues ans such. it... » Continue Reading
I didn't know my friend would prevent me THAT MUCH from being on my computer alone for a couple of minute to continue my blogs here... But at least I continued my work out everyday, excepted from thursday 03/05 until today... I'm not proud of myself at all, but I returned at my family's house and got a snap back to the reality going on here, which (as everytime) doesn't fail to make me relapse in ... » Continue Reading
Summary : Being with my friend got me much more exhausted than what I thought, I only made half of my work out today (arms and legs), and the day before I was literally sleeping on the table so it was impossible for me to do exercises... At least my mood is alright with her, I hope I would be able to be more stable in my work out routine again because what disturbs this rythm is the shame of doing... » Continue Reading
Summary : I didn't know so much days passed by, damn. Everything is okay, I did my workout everyday, and I will make it today as well. I've been with my friends since 19/04 so I both forgot to blog and also didn't want her to see this second account I'm ashamed of. She supports a lot, even if I deeply know that spending time at her side makes my ED hard to deal with in the sense that she's a stoma... » Continue Reading
Summary : Today I didn't make any work out. I occupied all day long to clean my very dirty, and rotting room to prepare moving on in some months. It's soon midnight and I'm too tired, but I consider that I didn't made "nothing" physically since I stayed up lifting objects, cleaning etc during hours and my legs hurt from it. I also didn't ate much at all compared to the other days, so I guess it's ... » Continue Reading
Summary : followed work out today : abs, arms, legs but had to skip one of 10min for abs. Current : LV vs ugw XLI Nutrition of the day : Like yesterday, I don't know if I ate less today or not... But at least I've tried to not let myself go on hurtful food, in my mind, and skipped some. but no » Continue Reading
Summary : followed work out today : abs, arms, legs like yesterday. Current : LV vs ugw XLI Nutrition of the day : I don't know if I ate less today or not... But at least I've tried to not let myself go on hurtful food, in my mind, and skipped some. but not them all... Feeling : I had a breakdown today, I really belie » Continue Reading
Summary : followed usual 1h work out, but added a 10min one today : abs, arms, legs x 2. Current : LVI vs ugw XLI Nutrition of the day : I ate less, and succeeded to oppose myself to certain dangerous foods. But I'm still disappointed Feeling : today was again complicated to find t » Continue Reading
Summary : followed usual 1h work out : abs, arms, legs. Current : LVI vs ugw XLI Nutrition of the day : I ate less, and succeeded to oppose myself to certain dangerous foods. But I'm still disappointed in my way to consume snacks Feeling : today felt complicated to find the right moment to exercise alone, I got a bit in trouble for asking isolation for only 1h of the day so it made me feel stresse... » Continue Reading