"There are things more important in life than life itself"
Know thyself, and thou shalt know the Lord
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Category: Life
Sometimes it is easy to wonder why one should do the right thing, or if such a thing even exists to begin with. The funny thing about life is its point is technically subjective, but it is still possible to live an unfulfilling life. That is because the point is to stand proud before death. Every sin I commit is written in a record under my name... The pride of my forefathers... The Raja. When I r... » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
I remember I was lying in bed alone one night and I started thinking about her... Y'know what's funny? This wouldn't have been crossing my mind had we never met, yet God chose that we fell in love. What was once normal is now saddening. The moments which brought me immense joy became painful memories. I felt literal pangs in my chest from the loneliness. I couldn't bear it anymore and tried distr... » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
There's something rather annoying that I'm dealing with. You see, there's a sort of dual state within how my mind processes the world, the logical side and the emotional side. The logical side is more grandiose in scope and its views are whatever evidence it bears witness upon which it finds most convincing. The emotional side is rather personal and individual, and it cannot be easily conditioned... » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
I remember there is a girl I talk to every now and then, and she said I reminded her of someone she knew. There was this man who she said was the sweetest guy she knew. They were both teens back then I think. One day he went swimming and died by drowning... I assume he got caught by a rip tide. It's rather tragic because they wanted to marry each other when they got older, but those dreams are dow... » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
I recently watched this video that changed my life... Well maybe I'm being dramatic, but it certainly felt that way. The intro is really what stuck with me, the simulation of death made me really consider what it is that I value in life. In that short minute, there were a few things that came to mind. The first was that I waste way too much time. A » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
Wow, man. In my short life, 16 seems to be the one where... Something happens!? Or not, depends on what you value really. Materially, my conditions have been identical my whole life. But my soul has felt things I've never felt before really... I've talked before about some of these in my earlier entries, but I never noticed in the moment that I have so many new feelings recently. Perhaps you could... » Continue Reading
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Category: Religion and Philosophy
Is that which is the same as that which is not? What a silly question. It's just a language game at best. We both know the answer. Though perhaps you have forgotten, so let me give you a clue. We are in a spectrum of existence. Whether you see "we" as real or not is up to you to interpret. But why should I care what you think? I only care of what you know. » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
YAP ALERT: READ PARAGRAPH 4 FOR THE INTERESTING STUFF Being autistic, I naturally never had a lot of friends growing up. But as of late, I've noticed that I've had a lot more success in socializing. One event was when me and 6 other people in a group were talking with each other, and then my stalker had come up to me in the middle and saw me. She asked me to leave them and come with her alone, but... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Ugh... Yes, a perfect way to start this entry. I feel stuck. I've been stuck programming the same rubbish for like a week now because I can't get my variables to work properly. I tried watching tutorials and reading through it all, guh I'm tired. The scary thing is that when I tried asking my friends to help, they said I surpassed them in my skill, yet I feel like I barely know anything. Perhaps I... » Continue Reading
Category: Religion and Philosophy
I've been feeling very conflicted as of late... I have been wondering about the nature of external events and their effect on the psyche as of late, and though my heart tells me one thing, my mind tells me another. If what is in control is our minds, how can we explain trauma and its effect? Is it really so easy to reconcile with? I have a hard time saying such is the case, considering the evidenc... » Continue Reading
Category: Religion and Philosophy
Something has been on my mind recently that I can't shake the thought of... Is manipulation bad if the manipulator is guiding you towards something good? Like in most cases, that's usually not true, which is why the entire concept is stigmatized. But what if you want to help someone who is stubborn, so you push their buttons in the right way? I dunno, I've been thinking too much. » Continue Reading
Category: Life
For the first time in my life, I truly fear God. I had always down played my own punishment. I thought we were on the same side and things would turn out fine in the end. But now I'm scared. I don't have time to procrastinate my own salvation anymore. I have something to lose now. Such intense feeling... I'm not sure how to process it all since I'm so used to apathy. Right now, all I can do is be... » Continue Reading
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