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I recently watched this video that changed my life... Well maybe I'm being dramatic, but it certainly felt that way. The intro is really what stuck with me, the simulation of death made me really consider what it is that I value in life.
In that short minute, there were a few things that came to mind. The first was that I waste way too much time. And you know the terrifying thing? I'm going to continue wasting time. To live every day with maximal efficiency is simply inhuman, but putting that aside, I'll have to try my best to get what I want done.
The next thing that came to mind was that I was really sad my video game wasn't finished. In case you don't know, I'm currently making a video game that I'm pouring my soul into right now, and have been for almost 2 years now. But even after all this time, I've barely had any progress... That's really scary. I want it to be done before I die.
After that, I started thinking about how my girlfriend would miss me a lot if I died. I mean, she already misses me if I'm gone for a week... I can't imagine how she'd take me being gone forever. She told me she doesn't want us to be separated, and I feel the same way. I've always had whispers of doubt pestering me in the back of my head, but now I know I can't afford to be too distant and that I have to live authentically if I want to have no regrets.
In the last few seconds, I prayed to God and waited for darkness, and then... I was still alive. In those moments I felt more alive then I had the entire day. There is no life without death, for without death there is no impetus for life. With the clock ticking against my control, it made every second count. Everything needs their opposite, Yin and Yang. Life is a dialectic, with opposites realizing they're the same thing, dual aspect monism. This is how the universe is coded in binary.
The meaning of life is to stand proud before death. If there's nothing to die for, there's nothing to live for. You cannot be a happy nor a good person without gratitude. That's enough r
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Cyr
To start, I want to offer this small comfort: You had this realization, and not only that, you had it early. You will most likely live to at least 60 more years, and you get to live those knowing everything you know now, and knowing everything you wish you had already done. One can only imagine how it would feel being on one's death bed and only then realizing what you just have.
But, you also may not have that time, my very best friend only got 15 years before a truck took his life. The only comfort I got, and will ever get from that was knowing he somehow lived a very full life in that time, and that I got that harsh realization at a young age as well.
You might want to consider a journal of sorts, at least to start out with. Something along the lines of what you did that day/week, and *why* you did it. Something like that would not only keep you accountable to how you spend your time, but it also keeps everything in context. Years later, you'll not only be able to see what you spent your time doing, but *why* you did, because the person you are now will be dead, and the person you will be might not understand otherwise.
Knowing that you will die is a two edged sword, you get choose how you live, but now the life you end up living was your choice (hopefully).
Firstly, I express my condolences to your friend who passed away so young. It is indubitably a tragedy. Secondly, your remark about having a journal is sort of why I wanted to start writing these entries to begin with. Granted though, I admit that I write these a lot less frequently than a week, as when I had tried to write daily before my mind would often times go blank. If I remember these words oft, they will be inspiration enough to write consistently.
But another reason I started writing my thoughts in these public entries is because I wanted to see who would go out of their way to be my friend. It is not hard at all to find this page, all it takes is some interest in who I am. You have proven to me that you are someone I'd love to be friends with, and I am sincerely grateful to have met you.
Oh God, may we both go on the straight path and stray not. Amen.
by Mr. KokoPudgeFudge; ; Report