34 - CHARISMA

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Being autistic, I naturally never had a lot of friends growing up. But as of late, I've noticed that I've had a lot more success in socializing. One event was when me and 6 other people in a group were talking with each other, and then my stalker had come up to me in the middle and saw me. She asked me to leave them and come with her alone, but I obviously said no. She takes things so personally, so she got miffed and said stuff like "You have a girlfriend!?" or "I don't trust people with a lot of friends!", something like that... Rather odd.

A bit of a tangent, but then again she was odd in general. When we first met, she would compliment me to an excessive degree to the point where I didn't know how to react. But when we started a dialogue, she would always take the tiniest of things so personally. Like me talking with someone else instead of her, or saying she was wrong about something, or even saying "I'm sorry for your loss". She was rather intelligent as well, and one thing she said which always stuck with me was something like "You are very good at explaining things logically and rationally, but not in a sympathetic or empathetic way."

Another thing that had brought this to my attention was that there's this kid who would always want to talk with me. He said I was like his big brother and he would go out of his way to be with me. He would skip school and not sleep, it's a bit frightening to me. Is he just really lonely, or is there something about me that's magnetic?

This is the question which I have been pondering. What had really changed about me, or had I never changed but it was in fact a circumstantial variable? The only way I can really find the answer I think is to analyze the events between now and then along with the factors which have changed. Perhaps it was the result of what my stalker had told me, and perhaps I had learnt how to filter information through the emotions of the listener rather than a raw dump of it. 

It might also be that I'm just delusional, and perhaps it was only a series of events all lining up perfectly for different reasons. I cannot be fully sure, as of now, but I hope I can get a conclusive answer soon enough rather than later. If what I suspect really is the truth, then I see the source of this charisma as quite valuable information and that it would be a shame for it to be secluded into the subconscious of my psyche.