i am honestly sooo excited rn!!!! i have bpd right. and usually it sucks ass, especially when you're breaking apart from a fp (favorite/fixated person). but like i'm actually doing okay??? *knock on wood* but i am okay for once. and i am happy. idk if i will tell my other friend with bpd about this accomplishment but either way i am very happy X3 dysphoria sucks literal BALLS. you know what i love... » Continue Reading
i got a hair cut. i am incredibly excited. i have been threatening to get a mullet for months. and it has finally happened. it is a mild mullet. but idc i am a fan. my trans masc friend accidentally called me "her" today. i managed to get enough courage to talk to him about it and remind him of my pronouns and it went super well. he wasn't mad or anything. but i don't feel better. i don't think an... » Continue Reading
what the fuckkkk. today we went to visit colleges right and my mom was talking with this one lady. then i came back from the bathroom and when my mom was explaining what the lady had told her she said "so she told me- oh i'm sorry for assuming you used she". WHAT. WHAT??? WHAT????!!!???? WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THE MOM THAT ACCUSED ME OF BEING GAY AND CALLED ME A LESBIAN SLUR??? if... » Continue Reading
dude. i am going absolutely crazy. where is all this drama coming from??? also it's ranging from like disney drama to thirteen, skins drama. like help. so first obvi the dysphoria shit. straight out of one of those angsty trans films named "i am sam" or something XD (no hate to those films again it's just so funny lmfao). then my one friend has to choose between going to a taylor swift concert and... » Continue Reading
it's mostly the anxiety that's getting to me now. i'm constantly on the verge of a panic attack i can feel it. today i binded for the first time with ace bandages (ik they're not good dw i won't use them to bind anymore i just needed to see what it felt like once). and it felt so good i looked and felt perfect. and now i'm so scared. idk what i'm going to do. i can't keep living like i am rn becau... » Continue Reading
sobbing rn :( (not really lol) i am so tired that i will never be seen as a boy. like why. i want ppl to look at me and think "yep that's a dude". it's never going to happen. even if i change the way i look and how i sound (which i don't necessarily want to do) i have the personality of a freaking sorority girl (no hate to sorority girls btw i just mean all bubbly and shit). i like the way i dress... » Continue Reading
ik i probs shouldn't put this online and maybe i'll delete it later. but i need someone to talk to rn. i can't talk to my friends. they either wouldn't understand or they have their own stuff going on. i have to go to school and comfort a friend tomorrow but i'm so tired. and i want to cry but i can't because my stomach and head hurt so badly because i'm so hungry. my main angst tho rn is that i h... » Continue Reading
UGHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA anyway. :3 i'm like going insane. i'm listening to all these ppl vent right. always reaching out. and i'm going literally insane. i WILL snap soon X3 i did some drawing today tho and i liked it a lot. i have smmmm hw to do T-T also i think my oldest friend might have khs (i've only known her for like less than a year but i have bpd soooo yeah she's my oldest friend). sh... » Continue Reading
i'm so excited wtfffff. they probs won't come out for a while but there's supposed to be two more!!! istg if it's from jacob's or renesmee's point of view while they're in a relationship i'm going to kms smh. i'm so glad i have this space. i haven't had a private place i'm able to post in in foreverrrr. i kinda want to make a reddit post talking about it but someone ik has my reddit sooooo no. god... » Continue Reading
omg i'm so excited!!!! it's soooo good /gen my fav song is death of an executioner fs!! i also liked pass the nirvana but since it was the first song to come out i listened to it soooo much i'm kinda tired of it tbh :P also eternal life- intro and eternal life by palaye royale are so gooood » Continue Reading