Allen ꩜ 𓃶

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"reading an oral history of Joy Division"

17, gay north american in fl

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Mood: burnt out

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Shedding denial, somewhat

Category: Writing and Poetry

coming to grips with the fact that you’re an emotional person who’s been denying it for years is not my thing. in other words, i there’s a lot of wanting to be had, and i’m writing poetry again  » Continue Reading

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Looking for an alternative scene

Category: Friends

Any of y’all have advice on creating an alt scene? i think about that sort of thing often, and i know kind of fundamentally that in order to find people in the scene i need to actually reach out and talk around. i probably will soon too, i’m getting restless and want nothing more than to meet people at some shitty house show. i’ve been looking at old venues and man, i’m aching bad. i’m aching so b... » Continue Reading

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College radio jockey dream

Category: Music

Been applying to colleges and man i’m so psyched about the idea of being a radio jockey! It’s real important to me that whatever college i go to has a station, and so far every one on my list has one. Some are definitely better than others, but i wouldn’t mind making the station a project for myself. I don’t know man, ive been listening to a lot of music and daydreaming about playing it while sitt... » Continue Reading

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Trying to solve a problem

Category: Life

i think ive come to a helpful conclusion that i should just back off instagram for a while.. at least, i shouldn’t be using the description to vent on in ways that really come off as nonsensical. while i don’t like saying this, for years i’ve not felt like i’ve had anyone in my physical life who understands me and who i can understand; i’ve had no sense of community or a real support system. i’ve ... » Continue Reading

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I won’t end it because i’m 17, not 7

Category: Life

slight content warning, i’m gonna be talking about suicide but it’s not a big deal here. cool, so a decade ago when i was seven and maybe eight i tried to end it twice. that’s pretty funny, you can laugh and i hope you do. i tried with a pillow, which didn’t work for very scientific and obvious reasons. those were the last times i ever ‘went through with it.’ i just kinda thought it took more ener... » Continue Reading

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Struggling w burnout, i should probably be medicated

Category: School, College, University

Ive been such a drag lately.. ive had burn out for over a year now, but it only seems to be getting worse. Yesterday i was struggling to complete the basic, ‘everyone else is doing this without a problem’ task of asking old teachers for recommendation letters. It was then i realize that i have struggled with every basic task like that for a very long time. The thing is that in cases like mine (whi... » Continue Reading

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Swollen vocal chords & the journals of Kurt Cobain

Category: Blogging

At work i was all miserable, throat swollen and sore like a sprained ankle. i talked a lot to my coworkers, mostly about nothing. By the end of my shift, my voice was so bad i sounded like i’d been lighting up since 1966. Doctors test for strep, rule out covid, and with two negatives we’re left here with swollen vocal chords and a strict ban from talking for two days. i’ve had this since tuesday, ... » Continue Reading

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