"extremely haunted"
peroxide. 22. nyc.
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Category: Writing and Poetry
i am a pillbug. i am buried under the dirt very very very far away. curled up and unmoving. sleeping and breathing. when i want to, i can hear what’s going on above the surface of the earth. i hear people talking. i hear animals communicating. i hear rustling. i hear decay. i hear time moving. because i am curled into a ball nothing has been able to harm me. i am curled so tightly it would be har... » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
finally made 90% of my blogs private... i'd been meaning to for a while. condensed ~20something pages into 4ish. honestly i've realized that i'm an incredibly private person in most ways and i didn't really appreciate 19 year old me plastering the entirety of my senior year of highschool on here, so its all gone from the public except some poems and things. part of it was enjoyable but a lot of it... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
hello [whoever’s left] moving in 2 weeks. it’s a doozy. remember when i would write things? remember warmth on your back and the sound of the ocean? remember the sweetness? i nailed it to the wall. it’s just a photo. it’s crazy what fixing your brain up a little does to you. i might as well have been dead by now if it wasn’t for that decision. i keep saying that. i keep saying that. i keep saying... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
hello again. life update for the journal. as always. i have a second job as a barback at the place across from me. i was going there for knicks games so i asked. everyone is very nice. maybe i can be a bartender someday. i really do not have a lot of money at all. i make it and it goes to my rent and, that’s it. saving is hard because of that but i’m trying. still no word on where i will live nex... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
i can’t get myself to kill you and i don’t know why you are just so vulnerable it was not your choice so why is it my choice if you live or die it is not my job to kill you something else will surely do the job it’ll be grander than me something no one else can see and i won’t have to know it we will end, we will continue i am far too scared to kill you your life is the on » Continue Reading
Category: Life
hurt (good) and hurt (bad) crashes down. i have to move again by august. i don’t make enough at my job. i have wonderful friends. i finally have community. i don’t want to move. i just got comfortable. i cannot ask ‘why’ so i just ask ‘how’ these days. it works alright. i have to remind myself i’m not indestructible. it’s all fun until it’s not. the train sways and i have a headache of sorts. it’s... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
it is already hot and i am already sweating lay on the ground take your shirt off keep your shorts on put on the low fidelity tape into the tape player hear the humming open the windows let the air in turn the fan on talk into it close the windows make dough with sugar read the newspaper walk with me after dark shake the sand out of your shoes go to sleep far » Continue Reading
Category: Life
well, its definitely not the life i planned. i don't think anyone would have, if they were me, or if they could choose. its may. summer is right around the corner. i sit on my bed in my clean room with my new candle lit. laundry freshly done and put away. i got a credit card today. its 630ish. quiet ish. peaceful, certainly. i've been noticing that i actually quite enjoy my life. for more than jus... » Continue Reading
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Category: Writing and Poetry
i keep going in circles. sometimes i reach into my mind and think about a memory. i hold it. i’m 15 under a bridge with my friends playing truth or dare. i’m 17 walking along the road for hours. i’m 12 watching lord of the rings in my pajamas. i’m 20 and i’m sick in my apartment. i’m 8 listening to my teacher read me a story on the carpet. in my earliest memory i am maybe 2, and my dad is reading ... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
its the nicest day out since the world began. saturday night and i am sitting at home on my bed in my jean shorts (don't worry they're clean). it feels like summer. it feels like comfort. its thick in the air. my roommates go out to a dinner reservation. my neighbors host a backyard party. where'd it all go? ... tomorrow is strange. i wasn't really thinking about it, until it came. when you spend ... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
i work a lot. almost every day. i don’t know where i’m headed. sometimes i think, this is okay. but i don’t want it forever. april is a strange time. weathers nicer. wear a hoodie and a t shirt kinda stuff. nothing much is going on. there are so many different futures for me. i think about them all the time. 22 feels tiring. i’m still me and i wonder how long i will be me until i change again. i s... » Continue Reading
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Category: Writing and Poetry
i’ve been writing these for a little bit. i like haiku format. 575 sought it out to find warmth and comfort forever safe under the ground eyes meet in transit look away gentle smiles not now not now please wandering around night time window fully lit up it could be me, too tanka (5 lines instead of 3) 57577 ocean in my hands » Continue Reading
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