"Questioning my life choices.. "
Mentally Overwhelmed, Emotionally Fâ¨cked
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Category: Blogging
I don't think I've ever had a restful night's sleep in my entire life. Now that I know it's due to trauma on my brain and fibro, it all makes sense as to why my Mom used to give me Ambien and wine coolers growing up. Not exactly a great thing to give your kid, but she didn't really care. There's a lot I'm unpacking, what little I can remember without brain fog clouding things. It sucks, I wish my ... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Whelp, after sleeping for nearly a day and a half. I'm awake and will be doing more homework on my condition. » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Being alive really sucks. I've spent a good portion of my life in my room, trying to take care of a body that keeps wanting to stop working. And while I know I could have it a hell of a lot worse, I'm just so fucking tired. Everything hurts. All. The. Time. I just want to drop to my knees and scream as loud as I can. » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Finding myself missing people that I shouldn't. I'm going to try and lay down. Sleep might not come, but I don't need to be stuck in these murky thoughts. » Continue Reading
Category: Friends
Finally finished unpacking a good portion of my stuff, and set up my Altars and desk. Things on my side of the room are actually coming together rather nicely. I'm being forced to take breaks, and my gf made me something to eat while I relax. I won't go into too much detail, but my arm is fucked up and I need to go to the do » Continue Reading
Category: Life
There was a lot that needed to get done tonight. I know that I should have asked for help, but my anxiety and OCD were far too loud. So, I waited until everyone was distracted with other things and took care of the chores that were eating away at my skull. Trimming my puppies fur, and making sure he looks dapper. ( I made sure his eyebrows were trimmed and the fur arou » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
Life isn't that complicated when you sit down and think about it. We're born. We experience the wonders of the Universe. And then we die. It's the muddled misunderstandings, in-fighting, and heartbreaks in the middle that make life overwhelming. We shouldn't have to endure life. It should be lived. Celebrated. Suffering shouldn't be a part of it. The ponderings of a hopeful romant » Continue Reading
Category: Life
My partner spoke with my Neurologist this morning. ( She helps me quite a bit with the medical aspect of life, due to my anxiety and issues with finding my voice when I need to advocate for myself. Which I struggle with.. ) She was able to explain what I've been going through, my pain levels and how the meds aren't really doing anything for the pain. I know that I've only been on them for two week... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
It's been two weeks, so far. The Gabapentin is not really doing anything, I can't feel any difference. My pain level is still quite high, it stays between a 6-8 on a good day. On bad day, it's a 10. I really hate the pain scale, but it's the only "reasonable" thing I can use that describes what I'm going through that doctors and my Wife understands. When Monday comes around, I'm meant to call my n... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Today has been a lot, but I finally have some answers. So, I got some, not all the information. ( The woman that did my MRI didn't send the disks to the neurologist, they only sent over the information. Which is weird, but whatever. We're working on fixing it so she can look at the scans. ) Anyways, she explained that I have some trauma/wear and tear in between my L4 and L5 in my neck. There's a b... » Continue Reading
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